I'm 14 and I've known I am a lesbian for about 2 years or so. I'm only out to close friends and have been thinking of ways to tell my parents. My mom is fine. She has a gay friend on Facebook and is fairly neutral. My dad claims to be neutral but he's always making offensive jokes. He knows they bother me but doesn't care. Tonight our cats were wrestling, both male, and one mounted the other, dominance thing I guess. They do it pretty frequently but my dad slapped his hands together to startle them into stopping and started yelling about how he doesn't "want gay cats fornication under his roof". I think my heart might of stopped for a moment. He was just joking, but still. It hurt and I shudder to think what he'll say when he finds out his little "rock star" likes girls more than he probably does. I've been seriously trying to think of a way of coming out ever since I started my first year if high school last fall. No luck. It's things like his bad jokes that are stopping me. Please help. :icon_sad:
While some dads are jerks, most of us have a special place in our hearts for our daughters, regardless of our orientation. He will probably come around when the need to do so arises. Solicit help from your mom to ease him into the notion of your orientation, so that he realizes that his behavior is unsettling to you and causing you to pull way from him.
I'm in a similar situation to u. My mum accepts them but my dad really does hate them with a passion. I came out to my mum first- it seemed like the safer opinion to start with. I still havent come out to my dad I'm terrified of his reaction. I want to come out to him soon, and I've told a good friend who told me I can live with her if things go south. Ultimately we don't really know 100 percent how our parents are gonna react in till we tell them. I don't know what else to say apart from ur not alone. Good luck
Try to decide how important it is to you to come out to him. After all, you are the one that is going to be affected the most by all of this, so if you aren't comfortable telling someone you shouldn't feel like you have to. However, you do live with him, and his comments are making you uncomfortable. So I suppose what you have to do is decide if it'll be more comfortable or less comfortable if you tell him. Make sure if you are going to tell him that you have a back up plan. Like these lovely people are saying, tell your mom first to get her on your side and give you advice. In the end, don't tell him until you are 80% sure that you should. (I say 80% because I can tell you right now that you'll never feel 100% sure because this shit is hard to figure out.) I have a slightly similar situation to yours; I'm out to my parents, but my two younger sisters are extremely homophobic. They make homophobic comments a lot and are just generally grossed out by the idea of same-sex relationships. While this makes me incredibly sad, I have decided not to tell them until I leave the house for two reasons. One, it's my business and they don't have a right to know until I see fit to tell them. Two, then I'll be out of the house and they can hate me all they want. So yeah. Hope I helped. (*hug*)
