A little while ago I was thinking about coming out to my mom. Never came to fruition. Some comments she made instilled fear in me. We were watching some show, where a less than good guy was talking about being bi. The audience, and my mom generally loathed him. I did too, he wasn't a nice person and treated others disrespectfully. What took me for a ride was the idea that his being bi is intertwined with his being a bad person. My mom said she thought that being bi, at least for guys, isn't real, and that this guy was just disgusting and confused, because he was bi. This put an idea in my head that maybe I should either not come out, or come out as gay. Either would seem to cause less of a stir in my family. I also think they are suspicious of my sexuality (Possibly Paranoia), because of my lack of any Bf or Gf relationships and how they seem to try to eek a reaction out of me about anything LGBT Does anyone know how I should approach this? Or better yet, Has anyone resolved a similar situation?
I doubt that coming out as gay would be any better received, because many people think of bis as gays who are simply trying to hide it. The reality is that it only makes sense to come out as what you think you actually ARE when you are ready to come out at all. To do anything else is to create a mythical person you have to pretend to be, with that considered to have been an intentional deception when the real you inevitably emerges. They aren't going to have any problem with the "straight" side of your being bi, it is only when you show them the "gay" side that they might have problems until they accept it. What you can do is come out as "questioning" where you are, and express the need for understanding from them while you figure it out. That you are attracted to some boys and some girls as individuals, so you are considering yourself to be bi "for now" but you will not be sure until you spend some time with both boys and girls to figure it out, so you need them to be patient and accepting of your friends, whatever their orientation, while you explore your feelings. You can also suggest PFLAG to them if they want to learn how they can help you while you do this. Why don't you think about doing it this way and decide if it might work with your parents better than simply declaring "I am bi".
