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Should I come out or not?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sam90, Feb 9, 2014.

  1. Sam90

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi there :slight_smile:
    Well ... I donno how should I start this but I'll try to keep it short
    I am a 23 years old gay guy who lives somewhere in the middle east and I am from a very religious family but I am an Atheist. I knew that I am attracted to guys since I was about 10 and I had my 1st kiss when I was 13. I've had 3 relationships until now and non of them lasted for more than a week, because I'm always so afraid of my family finding out that I am gay. I came out to my best friend 3 years ago and his answer was "Dude, I always knew and I accept you for who you are" I was so happy and I thought "That's enough for now". These past few months I've been asking myself all these questions like where is my life going? Am I ever going to be in a relationship without worrying about what will people think of me? Or will I be forced into an arranged marriage living my life thinking "What if"?. I spend most of my time imagining how my life could have been if I was born in a different family in a different country and to be honest its eating me up inside day by day, because it keeps reminding me of how miserable my life is.

    The reason why I can't come out is because if I do I am 100% sure that my dad will send me off to the army to "man-up" and the rest of the family probably won't talk to me again. My dad has total control of my life now because I dropped out of college after I was getting bullied from some people who found out I am gay, but of course that's not what I told my dad I just made up a story about how I am bored of studying ...

    What should I do? I am really hoping there is a solution to my situation because honestly I've been feeling so empty inside these past few days and I donno what am I supposed to do with my life