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advice for a sour situation

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by majorburt, Feb 9, 2014.

  1. majorburt

    Regular Member

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    hey guys, im new :slight_smile:

    so, i've got a bit of an issue that, looking through the board, i think you can help me out on.

    i'm in southern West Virginia... and i'm gay. (bad idea no.1 lol) anyway. i'm 17 and i'm looking to come out to my parents. they're good people, just not the "gay friendly" type (my dad much more so than my mom). i'm going to wait until after my birthday before i come out, that way i'm 18 and have all the perks of being an adult. thing is, i'm pretty sure that my parents aren't going to take it so well and i might end up being kicked out (might sound like an exaggeration... but its definitely a strong possibility). this still wouldn't be so bad in the scheme of things except for the fact that the only friends that i have who i know for a fact would be there for me are in another state. (i've raised the topic, although tentatively, with some of my best friends and they are just blatantly not "cool" with anything gay).

    anyway, what i'm really asking is 1) has anyone come through this type of scenario and "survived"? and 2) should i even come out or should i wait until i have my own place until i try to come out to them?

    in truth, any advice on the topic would be helpful.

    thanks in advance!
    and i hope my petty issues don't darken your day.
    and, if they did, have a dancing banana (!)...because who doesn't like a dancing banana lol!
     
  2. StephenSC

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    Hello, I've not been in your situation so my advice is just based on opinion, not experience.

    It's really sad you've found yourself in this tough position, all I can suggest is that you air on the side of caution. I'd suggest you wait a little while, at least until you have a safe place to go for awhile in case things turn bad. Chances are your parents will be accepting after some time, (If not right away) most of them end up coming to terms which such thing and can at least be civil... after all the paternal instinct is a very strong one.

    Perhaps in the mean time you can try drop subtle "hints" or try get them into a more accepting frame of mind. (If at all possible)
     
  3. Yossarian

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    You have crossed the highest hurdle, which is to accept that you are gay. Telling your parents is now something that you can do whenever you feel that the time is right. Waiting until you are 18 will give you more control and more options, and you are almost there anyway. Yes, MANY people have told their parents and "survived"; most of them have prospered in the long run, even if the moment of doing so felt awkward. This site is full of happy coming out stories. If yours is not as happy, then you will be legally free of your parents' control to decide what you want to do about it at 18, but most of the time, parents accept the reality of their children's revelations, and eventually adapt to it, even if they are not "happy" about it. They have to; it's reality.
     
  4. duende84

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    Hi there Majorburt. I am currently in the same kind of situation as yours. But I have been waiting 10 years now to tell my parents. I am tired of hiding the fact.

    Go for it man! Dont waste your life hiding.

    And welcome to EC! You are not alone!
     
  5. majorburt

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    hey jassonSC, thanks!

    you're right about staying" in the closet" until i have a better safety net to catch me (if it comes to it). hopefully you're right about my parents. like i said, they really are good people. my family just isn't really the gay friendly type.:frowning2:

    i'll try dropping hints if the situation allows it. it's well established to them that i'm good with the lgbt community (as i saw no sense in using a homophobic "veil" to hide behind) so i'm sure i'll have to be careful.

    duende84, sorry your in the same boat as me. i wish you luck when you decide to come out!


    like i said guys, if i have my stuff together i'll probably end up coming out a little after my 18th and deal with the heat that comes from that as it comes.
     
    #5 majorburt, Feb 12, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2014