okay me and my soon to be step bro had a argument about whether u choose to be gay or not hes straight but curios he keeps on changeing his mind say hes bi gay straight sometimes i just want to wak him over the head and say make up your fricken mind any way plz solve this argument its gotten quiete annoying "you choose to be gay" NO! you can not choose" ect so help
You can't choose to be gay, and that's pretty evident from your brother's actions, really. If he can't decide if he's bi or not, then he obviously doesn't know, so it's not a switch that you can turn on and off. I wouldn't necessarily just tell him to make up his mind, though, because people questioning their sexuality don't know, so they can't make up their mind.
Being gay, bi or straight is something that you do not choose and it is not something about which you make your mind up and everything will be okay. It is not that simple. Going through the feelings that he has is a sign that he is still trying to figure out his sexual identity. I do not think that having an argument about it will necessarily help him. I think a better approach might be to try to understand him from where he is coming from. I can imagine that it must be difficult for him to go through all these different feelings and emotions even if he might not be showing it. Try talking to him about it. Maybe you could tell him: "just take it easy. Don't label yourself yet and see where your feelings will take you. Sooner or later you will have figured it out. Take your time with it" or something similar to it.
Tell him that you CAN NOT chose if you are straight, gay or bi but you can chose if you want to deny it, believe it and accept it.
there is nothing in my life that makes me belive i choose to be gay, but I can list many reasons why I have now choosen to be open about being gay: my brother and my sister in law are expecting their first child, and apart of me feels like there isent a responciblity on me to bring grandchildren into the picture to continue the family name. I decided i wanted to be completely honest with my family about who I am as a person. I am tired of feeling isolated and alone because of my sexuality, and im 25 and never have felt a deep, loving connection with something, and seeing as I have no interest with people of the other sex, but a intense attraction, emotionally and physically to the same sex, i just didnt want to live in the shadows anymore about who I was. I just wanted to be happy. honestly, I am more happy now that I am in the process of coming out. I dont feel like I am so isolated, mainly because my parents in general have been acccepted *my dad isent sure yet i am gay*, and I also found this website, which has been so far a wonderful support structure. tommarow I am coming open with my therapist, who I havent seen in a while, and I hope she can help me approch telling the rest of my family with less anxieity. I have taken the first step, but I want to take more, and everytime i try to come out to my brother and sister in law, who already suspect anyways, i feel nervious again.
You can't choose if you're gay or not...but I think your brother might be questioning his sexuality. And that's fine. We all go through that (or most of us do). Don't get mad at him--I'm sure you've gone through the same thing, too. He's searching, and as the certain one, you need to be supportive of him in whatever he does, whatever he...not chooses, but settles upon as true. Just...don't get mad and whack him over the head. Help him.
