I grew up in a loving, conservative household, and my parents are very supportive of me. However, when I told them soon after puberty that I was having homosexual tendencies, I don't think they knew how to take it and spent the following years worrying incessantly about me. I think all three of us clung to the belief that this was a phase, because how could a good Christian boy who believed homosexuality was a sin turn out to be gay himself? I spent many years denying myself to myself and everyone around me, and it has only been within the past 2 that I have really began to accept my gay identity as something that's not a sin or problem. I don't think my parents are quite there. I know they still worry about me, and I know that for some reason they believe that I will grow out of it or something ridiculous like that. I love them so much, and they love me quite a bit too, so how do we meet in the middle on this issue? I can't force them to agree with who I am, but I want them to still support me. Any suggestions? Stories?
One of the hardest lessons in life is learning that you can't change people. Time and communication is the only cure for this poison at the moment. I think it's time you sat down with your parents and talked to them again; telling them that you are now accepting and secure in your relationship and that you want their support. Remind them that sexuality isn't a choice, parental love shouldn't be conditional and that you are still the person they loved 8 years ago. Good luck.
I would get them the movie For the Bible Tells Me so. I'm constantly pushing this movie on here. I get none of the profits, believe me! lol Still, this is the best movie for Bible believing people because it not only talks about interpretations of the Bible, it also gives the scientific evidence and talks about what other Bible believin families have gone through on their road to acceptance. It is so good!
I work at a video rental store, and I've actually seen that around. I've always wondered if it's good... I guess I know now .
I think Becky's advice is good (not that I've seen the film, but it really sounds like it would be helpful!). Plus, I would also say that it sounds as though your parents love you very much and care about you, and could therefore come round to accepting you, or at the least, condoning you. It sounds as though it's been a while since you told them, so even if they are still holding out that it's a phase, hopefully they will have already begun to deal with the possibility that you are actually gay already. But I would advise just talking to them, and being honest with them. You won't be able to sort things between you unless you sit down, and have a long discussion, or perhaps a series of long discussions - I mean, whilst total acceptance is clearly what you want, do you know yet how much they've already managed to process, and how much they're willing to accept/condone your homosexuality? I know it's not the best advice in the world perhaps but it's the only thing I can think of that will actually help - just talk to them. If then you come across problems (such as them accepting your orientation but not wanting you to have a relationship) then you deal with that as and when it arises. Also - do you have any gay friends with religious parents who have accepted their child? Or indeed any parents who can talk to your parents? Have your parents anyone (non-homophobic) to talk to? But I hope that maybe Becky's suggestion will help them with the religious side. I wish you luck
Thanks for the advice The last time we had a sit-down discussion about it was around two years ago after I got really depressed from coming out to a couple of my best friends. We discussed many possibilities as to what the future looks like - would they be comfortable with me bringing a guy home? Would they support me in a homosexual relationship? Like I've stated, they will always love me, but I fear an awkwardness that could arise after compromising their beliefs. One of my best friends is a lesbian, and her parents are 100% behind her. They are very far to the left of my parents politically and religiously (they are unitarian :]), so I'm not sure that they could speak to this conflict they are having. Perhaps, though, they could give me some good advice on the matter.
