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i think im ready

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Yukitori, Feb 11, 2014.

  1. Yukitori

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    i can now say that i am gay it is not easy and for some time i tried to not think about it and push it off as a phase or that i was bi but now i know who i am and i feel like i need to come out. i want to tell my mom but i really dont know how i know its safe and she will still love me no matter what its just trying to force the words out, any one have some advice ?
     
    #1 Yukitori, Feb 11, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2014
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets!

    Congratulations on coming out to yourself, and accepting your sexual orientation. Pad yourself on your shoulder, if you haven't done so yet. :slight_smile:

    To find out about whether it would be safe to come out to your mom, try to think about if she has ever mentioned something about LGBT persons? What was her response when there was something on the television, or something that she might have overheard on the street, which dealt with LGBT issues/rights? Does she have friends or co-workers that might be or are LGBT, that she gets along with well? All of these things can give you bit of an indication as to how she might feel about things.

    You could also try bringing up the subject by stating something that you have heard or read in the news. For example (and seeing that you are in Canada), CBC had an online article on the Olympics and that they are possibly the gayest ever. How would you feel about mentioning it in a casual conversation with your mom, and gauge her reaction? You might need to wait for the right moment to occur, but it might be worth a try.

    That said, and given that you feel that your mom would be a good person to come out to, that in itself is somewhat of an indication that somewhere within you, you feel that it would be okay, and that she loves you no matter what.

    What might help you a bit is perhaps trying to come out to one or two friends first. By coming out to others first, you might get a good sense of how you would like to come out to your mom, and what you would like to say. Having a sense of it, can make things a bit easier, and they don't look as daunting as they might right now.
     
  3. Yossarian

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    If you can't force the words out, then write her a letter explaining how you feel, and that you have come out already to yourself. You can say it just like you want to, without commercial interruption, then give it to her directly, read it to her, put it where she will find it when you are not at home,... whatever you would find most comfortable. Then talk to her afterwards. This has worked for many young people here.
     
  4. femmeinpink

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    I would say either write her a letter if you feel like your words would be more thought out that way, or bring up in casual conversation some recent event involving LGBT issues, hear her thoughts on it, and then decide if you want to come out to her then. And of course, you don't have to tell your mom first if you think it would be easier to come out to friends instead.
     
  5. I heart Owls

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    You could always sit down with her and say " I need to tell you something" and if you start to freeze up she can help coax it out of you.
    Im the same way, words always get suck in my throat on their way out.
     
  6. Yukitori

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    thanks every one its good to out and free and so far the best thing is me and my mom now talk about which male actor is hotter XD