So I'm still trying to figure out my gender at the moment. I love to be thought of as a girl and a couple of my closest friends have started using female pronouns when referring to me and I absolutely LOVE it. I've told siblings, cousins, close friends, friends, acquaintances. I've told a metric crap ton of people (not literally of course) and everyone has been incredibly supportive. I've run into one person who was a close friend but we grew apart, who told me it was ok for me to be "gay or bi or whatever," but when I told her I was possibly transgender she said, "How? You were born a guy with guy parts. God created you 100% perfect and there is nothing wrong iwth that." True story. But that's besides the point. My BIGGEST hurdle right now is coming out to my mom. She's a strict Catholic woman and therefore I don't think this will be the easiest conversation ever. In fact, I'm envisioning the worst. I live with her sister and husband, and her other sister (my two aunts and uncle) and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt they know something is up. They know for instance I wear eye shadow (kinda hard to hide) and have noticed my nails have been done. They don't say anything really though and treat me as if nothing is going on. I'm just not sure how to tell my mom. I want to tell her, I'm tired of hiding and living this "double life" where I sneak around in my girls clothes when I want to go out wearing them. But I want my mom to hear this from me instead of a 3rd party. After I tell her I plan on coming out to Facebook where I have friends and family on there. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on telling my mom? I'm scared of telling her but know it will have to be done and I know that it will even have to be done soon since I'm tired of hiding and have gone so far as to hold the phone and pretend I was going to call her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!! :help::help::icon_sad:
Hi Patrick0474! I am also learning about myself Belief is a really difficult question, and because I have not come out to anyone about my gender questioning, just sexual preferences, I don't have any experience to speak from. There are a lot of different ways to come out about gender, and there is actually a thread in the gender identity and expression forum where people are talking about this very question (people with actual experience). What I do know, however, is that a person's beliefs play a large role in shaping their identity, so while you are searching for yourself, know that after coming out to your mother, she will also have to start questioning her identity as a "Strict Catholic Woman" and how her love for you and beliefs come together. So if the reaction isn't ideal, patience and understanding on your part will go a long way. Again, I'm saying what I think, not what I've experienced..... Religion is a touchy topic, but if you don't mind me sharing, from the very beginning I approached the idea of being a transgendered christian very differently from most. WARNING: RELIGIOUS OPINION FOLLOWING! [(To me, it is the soul which goes to heaven, therefore the soul that we need to be true to, not the carnal body. The idea that 'God messed up on me' doesn't seem as true to me as the idea that God put me in the wrong body so that I may overcome the pressures to accept the physical aspects of myself and reject the spiritual by being true to who I am on the inside, which is the soul. I guess my opinions have been strongly impacted by the Story of Job, who was tested by God.)] I've talked religion a few times with friends and peers, and it seemed to give them food for thought. At the same time, you might not want to talk religion with your mom at all. Perhaps talking about the biological or emotional aspects of your identity is a better way to come out. Perhaps test the water by indirectly talking about her beliefs in regards to gender identity and see how strongly she reacts? I don't think this was particularly helpful... but I hope you got something out of it?
