My dad knows something's up. From the tone of other notes I've left, he thinks I sound closeted. He keeps reassuring me that whatever's up, I won't be a disappointment or an embarassment, and he'll continue to support me. I've told him every time he's asked that I'm not a lesbian, but I think he's still unsure. I don't know how much he actually knows about trans people or trans issues, but I think it's time I try and work my way out. I'm considering starting slowly, just saying that I've been questioning my gender - it's not inaccurate, I'm not 100% male, and that has confused me for the longest time. I think that would give me a chance to make sure they know what gender is and how it's different from sex, clear up some terminology, and talk about my experiences trying to figure myself out. I also think it would help bring them over to my side of things as well, sort of invite them in on things like we're at the beginning (even though I've been hoping to speak with a gender therapist for nearly two years already, and have been pretty certain about my identity for years now). I know a lot of people say you should be firm and direct coming out so that they know you're serious and won't be changing your mind, but I don't know that that works the best when it comes to gender. Everyone can fathom gay but transgender is still a foreign word to a lot of people. I think if I were to take that approach, they might not handle the information as well - from their perspective it might seem like I'm forcing something on them rather than sharing something with them. This way I might be able to convince them that something is wrong, and maybe they'll want to see it fixed. What do you think? Do I try and keep it a little slower, make sure they understand what it is I'm saying even though I'm already sure about myself as it is? Or do I just do it fast, like ripping off a bandaid, and hope they get the idea before they freak out? Either way I'm writing a pretty brief letter - I can talk about gender for ages but I don't think they want to read about it forever.
