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14 year old lesbian - please tell me if my coming out letter is okay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gracymay, Feb 15, 2014.

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  1. gracymay

    gracymay
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    Daddy,

    This is a really serious letter; I do enjoy joking with you, but now is not the time.

    It kills me inside that the person I feel closest to doesn't know the real me - let's face it, I'm not the typical 'dyke' stereotype. I have poofy blonde hair and rosebud lips, I'm a girly girl for goodness sake. I remember at seven wondering if I was gay, and pushing it to the back of my mind because I wanted children. And I wanted to be normal. And I was terrified of what others thought.

    Can you remember how blatantly homophobic I used to act? And how suddenly within the past two years I've blasted you for using gay as an adjective or making fun of Tom Daley?

    It's been almost eight years since I started questioning myself. Four years since I started classing myself as Bisexual. Two years since I decided I could be a lesbian.

    I've classed myself as lesbian for a year. And I think that's the way I may stay.

    I've already told mam and Gareth*. Alisha, Chloe, Coralie and Roisin know too.
    Anyway, I just want to feel a bit more comfortable around you (not that I don't already) and I feel like I'm hiding away. I hope you aren't annoyed at me or anything. I'm still your little girl.

    I can't wait until our next date!

    Lot's of love, your little disappointment,
    Gracy x

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    *Joey is my little brother.
    *Gareth is my stepdad with whom I'm pretty close to.


    So what do you think? Does anything need tweaking? Have you got any suggestions. Please go through my letter with a fine-toothed comb!

    -Gracy:kiss:
     
    #1 gracymay, Feb 15, 2014
  2. mbanema

    mbanema
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    I think you're putting too much of a negative spin on your letter, particularly signing it as "your little disappointment."

    From what it sounds like, you have a pretty strong relationship with your father so I don't think you should make assumptions about how he'll feel about this. If you've been defensive of using gay in a negative way, there's a good chance it's at least occurred to him that you're not straight and he's still treated you well so try to give him a bit of credit.

    Also, I suggest removing "And I think that's the way I may stay." You're only 14 and it's entirely possible your understanding of your own sexuality may evolve over time, but you shouldn't imply that it's a choice because it's not.

    Congrats on deciding to do this -- I hope it goes well for your! :slight_smile:
     
    #2 mbanema, Feb 15, 2014
  3. gracymay

    gracymay
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    Thank you - your advice means a lot.
    <3
     
    #3 gracymay, Feb 15, 2014
  4. Jencat

    Jencat
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    In addition to what mbanema said, I wouldn't talk too much about how you look. It's sort of... not necessary? to describe your hair and lips to your dad. Try and be as positive as possible in your letter. Negativity, and attacking your dad, is not going to help him handle the news well.

    And I just want to repeat what mbanema said about not calling your sexuality a choice.
     
    #4 Jencat, Feb 15, 2014
  5. Cerith23

    Cerith23
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    I agree with mbanema's advice :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Cerith23, Feb 15, 2014
  6. sungoesdown

    sungoesdown
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    I wouldn't go calling yourself a dyke either. If your father has little or no experience dealing with gay/lesbian things, he'll probably copy you. And him calling you a dyke is not a good thing...
     
    #6 sungoesdown, Feb 15, 2014
  7. softball

    softball
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    I agree with Mbanema. Your dad may take this negatively if that is how you address it. Good luck and congrats though.
     
    #7 softball, Feb 19, 2014
  8. AmiBee

    AmiBee
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    Yes, I agree that a positive spin is probably better. Be proud of who you are. Your sexuality should not be a burden but a gift. Good luck.
     
    #8 AmiBee, Feb 19, 2014
  9. lovely lesbian

    lovely lesbian
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    Yea have to agree don't make it sound like it's a bad thing because it isn't I don't like the dyke but if you want to leave that in there that is your choice and don't call yourself a disappointment because your not your fabulous xx
     
    #9 lovely lesbian, Feb 20, 2014
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