I have known I was gay since I was 19. I have been in denial for almost 10 years now. I have tried to have relationships with men but I always felt angry and unhappy and picked fights and pushed them away. After yet another miserable relationship, I am ready to accept myself and live my life as a gay woman. However, I am so scared. I feel completely alone. I don't know anyone in the gay community in Charlotte or feel I have anyone I can be open and honest with. I feel lost. I'm not looking to find a girlfriend or to hook up with anyone right now. I just want to find people that are like-minded, who I can be comfortable and open around but I don't know how to go about it. I guess I'm asking for advice and support.
Well I'll be more specific I understand you were figuring out who u were for a long time and that's ok everything takes time. U said u wanted so,done who's like minded even though u and me would def never date I'm here to give u the advice and support u need and if u don't know a gone in the gay community well I am and I'll be your friend
I was in the same boat. I dated a few men because I was in denial and didn't want to believe I was gay, but it made me miserable...and I felt repulsed. I couldn't see myself with a man. I didn't like being intimate or close to them. I can be friends with them, just not anything more. I identified as asexual for a while, and kinda focused on my career and forgot about it. Now I feel depressed and lonely, now that my college career is almost done with and I'll be out there, and I've been thinking about all the things I want to do and how I want to spend them with someone else. I've opened up to a few friends and they're all supportive, so it makes me feel good. I just gotta gather up the courage to tell a certain friend that I like her, which is harder for me than coming out. I do plan on getting more involved in the gay community, and hopefully meet some people that way. Maybe my FtM trans friend can help me a bit with that since I dunno where to start haha.
Thank you both. It feels good to know there are people out there who are supportive and understanding. Beetle- The feeling of repulsion is exactly what I feel. I can laugh and have a good time with men in a casual environment but when it becomes sexual I don't enjoy it. The last few times I actually cried. It feels good to talk about it and know I'm not a weirdo. Its great that you have come out to some of your friends amd they are supportive.a college campus is probally a great place to get involved in the gay community. I would check the student union for flyers. "Getting started" is hard especially without directions. I hope that you find your courage to tell your friend. Keep me posted on everything!
Getting started is a stumble but then you'll find your path and it all gets smoother. In 6 months or even less I can see u with the girl of your dreams. Good luck to u my friend (*hug*)
Hi and welcome to EC! Accepting yourself and register here are great first steps, congrats! I have been in denial about being lesbian myself for a long time and it felt so great when I finally accepted who I am. There are many kind and awsome people here on EC to talk to so that's a good start. (*hug*)
