Just came out after 10 years of knowing

Hey all

I don't really comprehend that I did it, it was the thing that I thought I'd keep to myself forever. But for the last few weeks I had to stay at my dorm alone(people left for break or whatever) and I started thinking about my life.
I knew that I was 'different' for like 10 last years, I'm 20 now. I felt so much pressure(homophobic people everywhere)during my mid and high school, that I've always pretended to be straight, because it was easier. But I've always been in peace with being gay, just thought I'd stay closeted forever.
I don't want to sound vain now, but I'd say I'm rather handsome, so I've always got a lot of attention from girls. I don't know if someone understands, but it's the thing that was probably the most awkward for me. I've always told them that I want to be single, same with my family. How many excuses can you make when parents/grandparents ask you about your girlfriend all the time??
So while being alone in my room, I starter to slowly build courage to come out to my sister. We were always close, we survived a lot of bad things(divorce, serious disease of our mom, alcoholism of someone close).
The thing that probably helped me most was this video:
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_nMHDA-lFk[/YOUTUBE]
I was stunned with the similarities of his story and my life, you won't believe it.

So last night I wrote her 2 emails, first asking her if she loves me no matter what(I'm a coward lol) and then when she said yes I sent second one, longer and explaining almost everything. I've got probably the best response I could, she said: "I knew it, I mean sometimes I have premonitions and this time I had it too. It doesn't change anything, I'm glad that you told me, I love you".
And I feel so relieved.. But at the same time I have few worries. Wouldn't it be awkward when we finnaly met? Thing is, that after all these bad things happened to me, I became very withdrawn, I find it hard to talk with my family even tho I love them. They mostly saw me depressed and sad/mad, they rarely saw me laughing.
And also the very important thing - I think I became depressed and didn't talk with them ALSO because I've always felt that I can't be myself around them - you know, because I'm gay and they don't know. I thought that coming out may help a little bit with that - probably won't but what do I have to loose?
I also thought about my life in general and what I want to do, so I felt like coming out would be good start to FINALLY stop being so scared of what people may think and start living my life to the fullest.
I feel like it can be next chapter in my life, also I'll try to believe in myself and be more open to people, because I really think that being closeted was that huge weight lying on my shoulders, hindering me from socialize with people. I can be myself now.

And now few last things:
1. Sorry for my poor English, it's my 2nd language so there can be some grammar errors.
2. I know this post is chaotic as hell and you are crazy if you read it, but I wrote it because I felt I need to say these somewhere, it will also remind me of my goals in the future
3. Maybe someone is in similar situation and this will help make that decision of coming out