I can’t stand that I always crush on straight women and the “confused” ones. I want some one who is not heterosexual! I am attracted to feminine women that are fun, nice, mysteries, adventures and who speak there minded. I never been with a women but with men (only for a month) but I want to be with a girl because I am curious. I want to move on from my so called long term crush I have on my “hetero” best friend. but I don’t want to use anyone, just because I want to get over someone else. I just don’t know what to do I want to get over my best friend right now. I can’t stand that I’ll never have her and that I have to cope with moving on… :icon_sad:
Hi! Moving on is hard in particular getting over a crush on your best friend, but if you try your hardest you will be able to move on. It will take time but you will get there eventually. In time you will find someone that will allow you to forget all of it and start anew. I agree with you that 'using someone' just to get over your crush is not the best way to go about it. Should it not work out, not only would you hurt the feelings of that person but you will also have hurt your own. It wouldn't be fair to the both of you. Sometimes our desires to get over something will lead us to think about things or make choices that we otherwise would not. But I'm sure you will get through this. What might help you in getting your mind off of her and to concentrate on something else is trying to get to know new people and making some new friends within the LGBT community. This does not mean that you should end your friendship with her. You need to hang on to it, but it might help you in getting your mind to focus on something else. What might also help, if you find yourself thinking about her, try doing something that you like that has helped you in the past if you needed to get your mind off of something. I know it is easier said than done, but give it a try and see how it goes. If it is any help, in some ways you will have her in that she will be the one to whom you can turn to when you need someone to listen to you and when you need help. Maybe try seeing it from that perspective. I hope this helps a bit.
I think that every gay/bi person goes through the whole straight crush thing. I know that I have (and that I do). Even though I now know some gay women, I still feel attracted to straight ones sometimes, which is really annoying. I found that the more I came out to myself, the more lesbians and bisexual women I came across - I'm not sure why, but I think that maybe I was spotting them more? Can you look on the internet or check out your library or something for info about local lgbt groups? I agree with what Asteroid says - and what you say - about not using someone to get over someone else. I am eventually coming out of a very strong crush I have on a really close friend, which is a relief, as I thought it would never end. I've found that distraction and a little distance from her (ie not seeing her as often) has helped. I also feel with me that a part of it is that I am so used to unreciprocated crushes that I am somehow deliberately crushing on unavailable women. That might not be your case, but I think it's mine. I can't help too much really, except to say that I totally know where you're coming from, and that crushes on straight friends hurt. But I hope that you do eventually find a nice gay or bi woman
Yeah seriously, you know how many straight boys i would LOVE to be with. But sadly it could never be. Yeah it is harder for all of us though. Because with straight and bi people, there are plenty of fish in the sea. But with us, there's only so many fish in the lake.
Unfortunetly its that 1% percent that were looking for, but we have to wade through the other 99% to find who we want. Turst me its never easy to have a straight crush.
I can't count the number of straight girls I've had crushes on (a lot). I find it hard to know if a girl is gay unless I focus on the ones who are stereotypically gay (sorry, if anybody on here is offended). It is really frustrating! It makes me think I'm going to be alone my whole life.
