So a bunch of weeks ago I told my friend that I might not be entirely straight. I'm nearly fourteen, and I know that's young, but I've been feeling like this since I was 11, I just sort of pushed it out of my mind. She said that it's totally okay, and I felt better than I have in a while. Then on my tumblr, someone asked me 'are you a lesbian'? I'm a big believer in sexuality being very fluid, and so I answered that I didn't know yet, I was too young to have a label either way. I was feeling pretty good about possibly not being 100% straight. And then my mom found my tumblr, and that ask. Although she didn't comment on it, she said that I'm going into highschool in a matter of months and people are gonna judge me and put a label on me. I deleted my tumblr and my instagram, and now I feel like I'm wayyy to young to be feeling these things and should probably not tell anyone until I'm out of highschool. The only thing is that I hate not telling people this, I feel like I'm keeping a GIANT secret. Help! Does anyone have any advice? Is my mom right about this?
Ahhh, I see your point of view. When I first realized, I was like "I'm not gonna tell ANYONE until I'm fourteen. I could be wrong, I could change my mind, and I don't even know WHAT I am." Obviously, a lot changes in less than three months. I'm still thirteen. But I'm out to two of my friends, intending to be out to two more, willing to be out to four more. I'm sort of ambivalent about telling my parents - they won't care, assuming they don't already know. But my point is as I became comfortable, I realized that there was no reason not to tell these people - they'll love me anyways, and even if I were 'wrong' (which obviously I'm not... This is simply the discovery of everything obvious finally snowballing and tipping the scales) they'd be okay with me telling them so. So telling people you love that won't hurt you with it and won't tell the world - go ahead. Whenever you're ready. But all the same, in many senses, I see your point about the other part. I wouldn't necessarily say you should wait until you're out of high school - it depends how comfortable you are, and what the outlook at your school (and more importantly, in your grade). For instance, my school is extremely open-minded. There are a couple of out kids, including two lesbians who are dating each other, and as far as I can tell, the majority of commentation they've gotten is how hard people ship them. But that's the other grades. My grade has some of the most homophobic and asshol-y people in the school. Honestly, the entire school hates us. A lot. So yeah, if I were in the grade above or two grades above, I could be out by now. But as it is, unless thing change as our grade matures, that's not gonna happen. I think I'll likely be at a 'you ask, I'll tell' stage by the end of high school. But I don't know. So I'd say yeah, you should wait, and not be 100% out of the closet until at least halfway through 9th. Past that, it's up to you and your situation. Good luck.
Thank you so much Everyone is extremely open minded in my grade except for one asshole, but I don't care about him. I'll wait and see, maybe I'll tell more people or wait.
Your mom is totally wrong about this!! I've known I was gay since I was ten. You're never to young to learn something, feel something, or act a certain way. I even acted gay when I was younger (as in second grade on up). And, honestly, everyone gets labeled. And it's wrong. But you can't stop people from labeling you. And people come out in middle school all the time. I believe that if you are ready to come out then you should. And I know how you feel with the whole huge secret thing. That's one of the main reasons I want to come out soon. It just gets to you. You lie a lot but when you come out all of those lies about being straight disappear because them people know that you're gay/bi/lesbian. I hope this helps you and anybody else who reads this. :goodluck: (*hug*)
If you've entered puberty, you're old enough to know about your sexuality. Most pre-pubertal kids are asexual, so they can't tell, but once your sexual feelings start to emerge, you can figure it out.
