Hi guys! 2nd post here, 1st one had some super helpful answers and I've been lurking ninja-style since then. c: So anyway, backstory, I'm a gay girl in my early 20s who has recently come out of a longterm het relationship; the breakup went pretty great and we're still incredibly good friends, and he was more understanding than any human being ever has the right to be, so that's awesome and continues to be awesome. I've told most of my closest friends (mostly guy friends) and my Mum, with mixed degrees of success - friends were totally supportive and my Mum was... eventually supportive after I convinced her that I was not gay because of soymilk, her divorce or interplanetary alignment. But anyway, when I was growing up, my Mum was always pretty homophobic towards gay women; I had a gay male friend who she was fine with, but she always said that lesbians seemed like a 'threat' to her, which I always found pretty funny, though that was long before I knew I was gay. She's oretty much okay with it now (after many long and heartfelt conversations), but I think it's still left me with the subconscious impression that other women are afraid of gay ladies and think they're going to harrass them or hit on them or something. So... Just wondering, what are the kinds of experiences other gay women have had when 'coming out' (lalala hate that term) to straight women? I suppose it's easier if you have a girlfriend at the time, but I don't and I'm not looking to date for a few months at least, but I'd like to be able to be honest with this stuff to people around me. Or am I thinking too little of other women and just assuming they're homophobic because of my Mum's older-generational attitudes? :| Thaaaaaaaanks!
Well, I don't think you should equate a mom's reaction with other straight women. Parents are a whole different ball game. Anyway, I live my life, as most of us do, surrounded by far more straight gals than lesbians. I don't feel like the straight women are afraid of me. Rather, there is a bit of a barrier discussing relationships. Most, not all, seem uncomfortable with me chatting about my relationship with my wife. Just like they don't quite understand it.
I don't think you should tell one at a time but that's just me. But if you are going to tell your friends one at a time then I think you should start with your closest friends and work down and it will start spreading. Trust me everything does. Like rumors take legit 5 seconds to get from one side of the school to the other.
Hey I totally get this it was one of my very biggest fears when I started coming out. I have a girlfriend now but didn't at the time. I haven't ever had any bad reactions and from talking to my friends none of them ever think I'm checking them out or hitting on them. So I think you are totally normal for having the fear and I guess it's possible your friends could think that but I don't think it's as common as you think. I'm sure your friends will be ok.
I always found it funny other straight girls think another girl being a lesbian means she'll hit on them. We have our standards just like everyone else. In fact, I've never hit on anyone in my life...not like that.
You're in your early 20's, I'm assuming that you're coming out to girls of the same age? (Sorry, I know you don't like that word. I didn't like the word lesbian at first but now I don't mind it) Hopefully your friends, or the girls that you're planning on coming out to, will be mature enough to accept your sexuality. And if they're not mature enough to accept your sexuality then they don't deserve a place at the table.
At first I was thinking the same thing, that any straight girls who found out I was gay would act all weird. I've had a few girls act that way to which I responded "relax, you're not my type" lol. What surprised me most is that one of the few straight girl friends I have is like my biggest supporter. She gets angry when people make homophobic comments towards me and things like that and she demands we go to pride this summer because I've never gone. So basically you'll always encounter people who think just because someone is gay means that they're going to hit on them. Sounds rather conceited on their part. But you'll also encounter people like my friend who isn't "bothered" or care what my sexuality is.
