So here's the thing. I'm starting to like an ex gf from 4 yrs. ago. And now I have a tiny crush on this one guy too. Idk if the guy is straight or gay. The girl says she wants to pursue one of her ex's but if that falls through I'll move in. Anyway. People that don't know me think I'm gay but I'm not; I'm bi. Big difference. But people that know me think I'm straight ( for the most part some are still on the fence ) The guy has a bad wrap kind of 1. His sister said he's bi polar. That scares me because I saw a little come out before. 2. He's a 16 yr. old high school freshman. (I'm 15 sophmore) 3. His sister says he used to beat her up (pre-meds I'm guessing) But he's really nice and protective and funny in his own dorky way. Still something about him scares me a little. Just a hair. I dunno what I should do about him other than just be his buddy. Should I just come out? People are 50/50 on my being gay or straight and they're right might as well confirm and deny right? I'm scared though. I used to get teased a lot in 6th grade before I even knew I liked guys and I don't want that to happen again. Will girls like me the same or better or worse?
I don't know this guy so it is difficult to say but I would say that if you feel uneasy, on whatever level, listen to your instincts. There is maybe something on a subconscious level that you have noticed about him, maybe the fact that he is bi-polar and thus potentially unstable, that is putting you off. As for coming out to your friends only do so if you want to or feel the need to. If it is simple curiosity on their part, let them wonder. Only you can decide when you are ready to tell. As for whether girls will like you as much or not well that is really down to the individual girl but apparently many straight girls are quite turned on by gay/bi guys... so who knows.
I agree with Louise. When it comes to coming out to your friends, only do so if you feel ready and comfortable with them knowing your sexual identity. If there are a few that wonder and are curious about you let them be. You need to be the one determining the timing of your coming out, no one else. Given that you are afraid that you are going to get teased again, maybe it would be a good idea to hold off your coming out for now. Oftentimes, it is better to wait than to rush into it. As for the crush on the guy that you have, maybe it would be a good idea to get to know him better first given that you feel a bit uncomfortable with him. Also, at this stage you don't know whether he's straight or gay. So before you come out to him and/or tell him that you are falling for him, try to get to know him better. Invite him over or do some stuff with him together. But as Louise mentioned follow your instincts on it. When it comes to your ex girlfriend, if you want to try getting together with her again, try it out and see if it will work out the second time around. Both of you are older now, you never know. Having said this, I would try to keep my hopes modest because there is always the chance that it might not come to that. There will be always some girls that will like you. It is a matter of finding the right girl with whom who have at least a few things in common. Hope this helps!
