Hi Guys: I guess I am doing well. Since pflagg only meets up once a month. I have decided to go to those meetings and miss front runners once a month on Tuesdays. I like Pflag Last week I had an ulcer(it ruptured) it at once while I was babysitting for the kids I sit for here and there. The little girl had to call 911, because I couldn't. It raises some concerns about how much I stress myself. I am not totally sure what causes the ulcer it could of been bacteria, stress or just one of those things that happen. I have a good diet, but in truth I spend hours upon hours obsessing/ruminating/worrying about just about everything. I have a problem letting things go. The worst part was I needed surgery. I did reschedule an interview with the lady that runs a home health care agency. Another job opportunity also came a long for al ady who is moving here in August and is looking for a male Nanny. We have been staying in contact. And I don't like to excited over things in case, they don't work out, but I have a good feeling aboout this. I am also started a bowling league in Sept. I think one thing that has been bothering me(it may seem silly) quite a bit and I am trying to let it go is this. I dyed my hair black. At first it did not look good, but I got it cut and it looks much better now(actually it looks very dark brown now). When i first asked my cousin what she thought right after I got it done, I also asked her if it looked notieable dyed, she said maybe a little, but she is use to my hair being lighter. I just now keep worrying that everyone else might think it looked noticeable dyed. But I look in the mirror and think it looks good now, not noticeable dyed, but the worry is still other people might think it is. I also have this problem. If one person thinks its dyed, then everyone must. I don't just do this with my hair, but with everything. In truth, I know people are busy with there own lives and not everything is about me. But even though I know this, its still hard for me to let these worries go(I wish I knew why). I keep thinking the first thing people see is how I messed up my hair when dying IT, even though right now I think it looks okay. I also think people are just staring at that(and mentally being very cirtical), this is draining me out. I think part of it has to do with a really critical father who would constantly make comments about me about everything. I know not everyone is my dad, but it seems like I keep carrying him around. Even though we don't talk much, In the past he tells me what form of payment I should use when buying certian things like when I should use cash, when to pay with checks and when to use credit cards. He is just critical. Thanks Justin
