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Disgust? Regret? Please help.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Rainbow Panda, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. Rainbow Panda

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2012
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    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Hello :slight_smile:

    From I was 13 till untill half a year ago I was in a straight relationship I knew I was a lesbian, but I believed that love truely meant more than sexuality. It didnt in the long run. So now I am alone for the first time and I am reflecting over my life.

    I knew that my previous relationship was a happy one but there is this big cloud on it, I am only able to focus on the negative side; that it kept me from being my true self and from experiencing love and a life with a woman.
    I could have been out and happy rather than being in a relationship trying to pretend my boyfriend was a woman (even during sex). I feel really disgusted when I think about it and I dont know why this has arisen all of a sudden.
    I usually don't feel this way about it and I have no idea what it means or why. I just feel really digusted with everything that happened within those years, they feel like wasted years.I know that it is being unfair to my exboyfriend. We were really happy in love, I could just not go on pretending anymore.

    Has anyone had thoughts or experiences like this? if so any advice on how to get rid of then would be a great help because it has made me really upset and unstable.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Dexter Colton

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2013
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Dear Friend

    Your life has taken the same turn that mine did. In junior high I went to the school dance with a girl a year ago. Then I was lonely, dang sounds familiar. Now this year I went to the dance with my best friend Trey. As I say to others you should let what you are weigh you down. Just remember that in life there will be happy moments and sad ones, all I can say is stay strong for those who are resilient will stand on top. Find that one girl in your life who you love and one that loves you back and stick to her like glue. If you need some clarification or something answered just ask

    Good luck
    -Dex