Okay so I am having a hard time. I have known that I like girls for about five years now since I began high school. I tried so hard to make it go away because I was a cheerleader and, and now I am a sorority girl. It's been so exhausting living a lie and keeping this big secret for so long. I have wanted to come out for so long but I have gotten scared every single time. I'm now about to turn 20 and am still keeping this inside me. I can't help but care so much about what other people think, and also I grew up in a catholic household. My mom used to go through my room and once she found a note written to another girl and she yelled at me and dragged me to therapy so they could "fix me." My very best friend knows about me and she has been okay about it, but I have moved down south for college last year. It is so much different here and extremely conservative. They are all christians and there aren't many people here who aren't straight. Anyways, I know I really do like girls and have secretly had a few encounters and experiences. I'm not attracted to men at all and I just don't know what to do. I want to be myself more than anything, but I would lose everything I have. My family, sorority, friends. I wouldn't even know how to go about coming out. I just know that I'm really sad living like this, and I'd do anything to be happy.
You can't wish it away. Your sexuality is a beautiful gift and part of who you are. Best of luck when you decide to come out. I don't have much advice about exactly when or how. But, at least work to accept who you are and have pride in yourself. Good luck.
Ahh a sister! You are a sorority sister. First of all good for you that you know who you are on the inside now you have to learn to show it on the outside without getting the rejection that possibly would come from fellow sorority sisters. You said you were in the south....lol I went to college in West Virginia... I wasn't just a little south, I lived in an area that were very "rednecked" so being out was hard. Though I was not a cheerleader I was a jock in sports but also pledged. I had it a little easier than some but still hard because sisters have very strong opinions. They could either make or break your your college years. You need to find someone you are close with and see if breaking the news in to her is possible. Get a feel for what they feel. You are in a tough position but not an impossible position. If you are comfortable with yourself and know for sure you want to come out and be free then you need to do it slowly. I feel your pain!! Honestly I do... But breaking the news to one sister may help you break the news to more sisters. It's tough being trapped inside yourself and not be able to be free with who you are and love. I wish you the best!!! Find the strength inside yourself to be free.
Thank you for all of your kind words, it really helps me to feel better about myself and that it is okay. I've been having a hard time accepting myself, but I think that is definitely something I can work on and I'm really glad to know that there are people out there who support me without even knowing me. It all means a lot
