1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Attracted to my Bestfriend (Long, Please help!)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by CrazyGirl, Feb 20, 2014.

  1. CrazyGirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Please Help!

    So I've known my bestfriend since we were about 15. At 17, I ran away from home and lived with her and her family for awhile. Around that time I began to be very attracted to her..It was strange and confusing for me because I've never felt that way about a female before. Even our other friend who was also staying with her and is considerably prettier could hold no candle to her in my eyes and I had no attraction to her at all.
    Anyway, I never said anything and we drifted apart after we went to college. However, while we were in college she came out as bisexual and end up dating a girl at her school for a bit. Its funny because since we were apart, the feelings were almost non existent, but once she told me that I found myself very jealous. Eventually she and the girl broke things off and we both ended up moving back to our hometown.
    We started working together and got very close. At first, the feelings didnt surface..It was months before I felt that way again. We took a work related trip out of town together and I thought something would happen since we were sharing a hotel room, but....nothing. I felt as if it could have..I felt like she flirted with me sometimes, but I was too scared to be rejected. We often made gay jokes, but I'm just scared of rejection and losing her as a friend. So nothing happened.
    A few months later, we moved in together. She had a boyfriend and I still mess with guys so nothing happened right away. But I would be super jealous and irritated whenever her boyfriend was around...which was every single day. The guy was an asshole and a horrible boyfriend which made me hate him because for one she's my bestfriend and I guess a part of me felt like I could treat her better. So one night he's not there and we decide to get drunk..its so weird because I cant remember what happened after the third shot! Idk if she's lying or not but she says she cant remember either. All I know is we both woke up a few hours later, me in my bed still fully clothed and her in hers naked. I feel like something sexual may have happened but i'll never know :frowning2:

    Crazy as it sounds, that drew me in even more! I was so upset at the possibility that what I wanted so bad, had been curious about for so long had happened and I was too drunk to remember!
    Nothing has happened since then besides severe longing and pretty much desperation on my end :frowning2:
    Its so bad that one night we slept in the same bed and I had a dream that I was holding her and we talked and just as we were about to kiss, I woke up..she was on her side of the bed. What a disappointment. Its literally driving me crazy at this point. Some other flirty things have happened and I feel like she feels the same way but I just really dnt know!
    That was almost two months ago and I've since moved to another state (for unrelated reasons) but I wonder should I still tell her? She's in a new relationship with a guy that seems really great. They've only been together for two months..only known eachother less than three months but they claim to be in love. He's not a jerk like anyother guy she's dated so I can hate him but I am still very jealous!!! Idk what to do, and I feel like I really want to tell her. I feel a bit more confident being that I can text it and I'm in a whole different state. At this point, I guess even if it ruins our friendship I wont be completely devastated because I wont be seeing her anyways

    PLEASE HELP!!!
     
  2. volleyball girl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Oh wow. You've been holding in so many emotions for so long. I think you should tell her. I know that she's in a new relationship and everything, but it seems like if you don't tell her, then it's going to keep hurting you. After you tell her, regardless of her answer, maybe you will feel better and will be able to move on from it. And just remember that no matter what happens, you will be ok :slight_smile: Something that I always tell my friends is that you have to be true to yourself, always. Follow your heart. Even when you're scared. I't better than having to suffer in silence over doubts. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you lots of luck :slight_smile:
     
    #2 volleyball girl, Feb 20, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2014
  3. CrazyGirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Thanks!! I think you're right...this "What if" syndrome is driving me crazy. At least knowing will bring me closure!
     
  4. volleyball girl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Definitely :slight_smile: Good luck!
     
  5. setnyx

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2014
    Messages:
    467
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    live in VERY small town near Erie PA.
    i think you telling her and getting it off your chest is a really good idea. who knows what the future holds.
     
  6. GayCJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2014
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Just tell her. If she is bi, than how could she be homophobic and give up on you as a friend?
     
  7. CrazyGirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Well CJ it's not that im worried abt her being homophobic...im more concerned with her being uncomfortable with the situation..if the feelings arent mutual she might feel uncomfortable being close with me in the same way outta fear of me "taking it the wrong way"
     
  8. volleyball girl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    That could be possible. However, if she doesn't feel the same way, at least then you would be able to start moving on. In which case, I don't see why she would be uncomfortable around you :slight_smile: Either way, you have our support in here (&&&)
     
  9. CrazyGirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Thanks so much!! Honestly it felt amazing just to get it all off my chest! Tried to tell her yesterday after talking to you guys but it didnt work lol
     
  10. volleyball girl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm glad you felt better :slight_smile: And don't worry. You can tell her whenever you feel ready :slight_smile: