Ive liked this girl for over a year. i know her from work, and i pretty much developed a crush on her straight away. although it wasnt as intense back then so i was more at ease and talkative around her. i was hoping i'd get over it, over her, over time, but no such luck. im still crazy about her, my crush just seems to get more intense by the day. and i cant even deny it. it would be so much easier for me if my feelings would vanish. so much easier for me at work. so much easier to be around her. she's actually not in the closet (she's a lesbian), everyone knows about her, i of course am not out in the open, she's totally cool. funny and sweet, and just a generally great person. the kind of girl you'd love to have as a best friend actually. she's always really sweet to me, and im majorly attracted to her. i hear her voice or see her and i get that nervous/excited rush. i constantly have butterflies in my stomach. she says something really cute to me and i literally am on cloud 9 for days. i think im infatuated with her or something. i dont know. but i hate that i feel that way, because its made my time at work sort of a living nightmare. because she makes me SO nervous now. and when im at work at the same time as her, im constantly on edge and anxious. to the point one or two times ive had to leave the room because i feel like im about to get a panic attack. my anxiety around her is out of control, i normally can control my nerves when shes there with me most of the time, but inside, i feel like i cant breathe. i tell myself to relax but i just cant. i put a distance between us as soon as a realised i liked her a lot, by avoiding her, so we havent been able to become good friends cause ive put a barrier up and kept it up. i think she realises the issue because she hasnt pushed me on it and seems to go out of her way not to put me in uncomfortable positions. my gut feeling is she knows i like her, because there is huge tension when we are together, i feel it, and im sure she does too. i just dont really know how to deal with this, because i know im not dealing with it well at all at the moment. really i just wanted some advice.
Well, I haven't had this experience before, but I'll do my best. She's a lesbian, right? And you think you might be one, right? You're attracted to her, and she's really nice to you. I say...go for it. Ask her out if you want. It might reduce the stress knowing that she knows that you feel something. And it will reduce the panic attack symptoms, probably. Or, talk to her. Just talk to her and see what she says. Become friends with her, because you say that she seems like she would be a good friend. Well, become her friend. Talk to her and show her you exist. Make yourself available. I know that isn't really the best advice, but I hope it helped some.
First of all, welcome to EC! Glad you joined the EC family. From what you have said, it seems to me that she might suspect that you like her, but I would still take it slow. When we have crushes on others we easily fall into trap of reading too much into the other person's actions and words. I think the best way to approach it would be rather than to avoid her try to get to know her better. Ask her if she wants to go for a coffee or a bite to eat. Keep it casual and just try going with the flow. See what she says. Hope this helps.
Welcome to EC Lexie! I would try to follow the above advice, I know your gut reaction is to keep her at a distance, but if you can, try to go against that as much as possible. Go out for casual bites to eat and drinks and just talk to her a bit more, she sounds very understanding and willing to let you go at your own pace, I think once you get to know each other a bit better then things will be less tense between you two.
