Why do we make it a big deal?

I have been wondering about that for a really long time.

 

Because people can't deal with difference. Simple as that.

On the other hand though, I've mentioned very casually that I like both sexes to three people over the past few days, and none of them have made a big deal of it. It all depends on how good the people are.

 

If it was only that simple. Sadly it is not. Even when you come out it takes a lot for a straight person to even begin to understand the challenges we face.

 

You know what I dream of? A world where people don't have to come out about their orientation. Why can't we all just love who we love, and leave it at that?

But, ya know, a lot of people don't like "difference".

 

I'm really looking forward to when it's not actually a big deal to society anymore. It would be such a relief.

I really don't like making a big deal out of it either, I mean it's not like I would sit down and come out to people about the fact that I love pretty dresses for example. Having a different sexuality is not a big deal, I think there are few people who are 100% straight anyways. Too bad it's still a big deal to many people...

 

Yep. If huge segments of society didn't want to demonize people for being different, this would be a total non-issue. It's nice to dream.

 

That is why we fight for equality, our struggle now only means peace of mind for the next generation. Ours is a fight for the future, one where a kid won't need to come out, if he wants to bring jimmy to a movie, no one questions it, or think it weird. The stigma surrounding LGBT orientations is disappearing, soon it will be a social stigma to a homophobe or a transphobe! But until that time, coming out will always be a big deal
Sorry to get all preachy lol

 

Very well put! I couldn't of said it better myself!

Like everyone else said, today's society still judges you if you're different from the majority

 

I've given this quite a bit of thought and decided, had my life gone very differently I would have would have skipped the coming out and just brought home a lovely lady at some point as a way of making my orientation known. Since instead I married and have children I'm not sure how I will tell my friends and family...

Coming out does have the practical advantage of having family and friends who can introduce you to others of similar interests.

 

When I came out, it was never with any thought of getting anyone's 'Okay'. It was just informing them as a point of interest (And because it was kind of fun after a while). I was never apologetic about it nor did I ever approach it as something that anyone else had any control over.

Even in the case of people who's opinions I generally valued highly (my mom and my best friend), it was still a given that I could survive them disapproving or worse (they didn't). It would have been irritating (for a time, but only for a time), but that's about it.

It's only a big deal if we make it one or allow others to do so.

Todd

 

Some people do. Like, some people never go through this process of never coming out, never explicitly stating it, but they live as they normally would. My friend's sister is gay, and she never told her parents, but they knew because she, you know, had posters up of women in their underwear and she'd have girlfriends and stuff. Which is a great way to do it, but for now, people expect a process, a conversation, a statement. It's kind of like an opt-out thing; you straight until it's stated otherwise. Hopefully one day it won't be so.

 

Cause people don't like things that are different or not normal like us

 

I was thinking this same thing, OP. I was watching a documentary where and older person actually had a coming out party. I thought it was totally appropriate. She was in her 70s and had been married all of her life. Her husband had passed away and it was time for her to be her true self. She was one of those people that almost always knew, but hid that she was a lesbian.

If I ever get to the point of where I feel I need to come out I kinda don't think I will make it a point to tell people till it becomes relevant somehow. Many people on this forum must come out to family and friends to move forward with changes in their lives.

Its kinda like Pride. It'll be great when society is so accepting of LGBT people that Pride will seem unnecessary. I know there are LGBT people that dislike Pride, but I think it's super important still.

 

The dark side of being different. The fears of being cast out. The need for attention and other beings. All coupled with influences that clouds judgement all contribute to this.

Equality is a beautiful thing and as the world progresses, it becomes more accessible to more and more people.

 

LGBT is here and it ain't going away. We must stand up for what we believe in. I do think some displays are too much though. If we had a passive attitude then we'd have to remain extremely secretive and that wouldn't make the world less ignorant. You don't have to be proud but you shouldn't be ashamed.

If a person has been in the closet for a long time then coming out possibly creates euphoria for a while. It really depends on the individual.

 

Sometimes it feels like it is only the lgbt comunity who expects that.
I believe we do it much harder for ourselves that it needs to be. You know, writing letters, gathering family in the living room...

 

It was a big deal until I made it a big deal. After a while you realize that people, erm, don't care that much. It might be different with your family, because they have expectations or they might be bound to old traditions... But unless you live in a homophobic country, it isn't a big deal.

 

Once you've accepted it for yourself and don't feel ashamed, (and provided you live in a part of the world that is not full homophobic) it can be somewhat simple and a non-event with NEW people. Matter of fact, "sure I guess she's good looking but myself I prefer guys, oh sorry bro didn't know, that's cool". The coming out is more complicated and important with the important people in our lives we either kept in the dark or right out lied to for many years.