Hey, just last night I was forced out of my closet by a 'best friend' and was wondering if something similar has ever happened to anyone else. Its just a thread to rant about being forced out and for support. Last night I got back from hanging out with some friends and my mom confronted me telling me that apparently my friend told her mom who told my mom that she was 'verbally abusing me'. I had confided in my friend that my mom and family had said a lot of homophobic remarks and I was scared to come out because of it. My mom then said that I wasn't allowed to hang out with anyone until I admitted why I said she 'abused me' to someone. I didn't want to be cut away from the only people who seemed to care about me so I in turned was forced out of my closet. I am extremely feeling betrayed by my 'friend' if I can call her that anymore because I didn't want her to do that and I never said I was being 'abused'. I'm really ticked off and have no clue how to deal with her. In the end my family was... kind of okay bout it. My mom is still being a little homophobic but she's trying. My sister is being awkward but coming around slowly but she's still a huge homophob and my brother hasn't talked to me. That was not how I wanted to come out, I wanted to on my own conditions and the right way, not like that. So in turn I'm very mad that it happened this way and I was forced out of my comfortable state.
I'm not out so I'm not answering the poll. But my opinion is that you seem injured, by what you say. I'd say the same thing because getting out of the closet is something that you should do by yourself whenever you're ready.Things could have gone really really bad for you, I actually think you're lucky. I don't know how close you are from the rest of your family like uncles, cousins and whatever... But in my situation, I can't even imagine how they would react cause we are really close and I was born and raised to be a straight boy. Not being interested to girls made me really really shy and that hurted me all my life. Being outted by someone unintended would be a DISASTER, at least for me. I am deeply sorry for you, and for myself as well, cause I really recognized my situation here and it made me really more scared about comming out to anyone I don't trust 10000%. Cause even the dearest friend can, even not on purpose, end up telling someone about our situation and then everything falls appart.
Forgive your friend. I completely sympathize with your feelings of betrayal, but this is a true friend. She was more concerned with your well-being than maintaining a quality relationship with you and that's a very, very difficult decision to make. She would not have told her mom if she wasn't legitimately worried about you. Try to look at the bright side -- in the not-too-distant future you'll probably look back on this as one of the most profoundly positive days in your life. I know you weren't prepared to come out yet and it's really tough to handle getting such a massive jolt to your personal life, but you're better off. For better or worse, it's over with -- your family is trying to be supportive and you don't have to agonize over how to come out or worry about how they will react. Trust me, you're better off without the risk of ending up in the closet for another decade. Take a day or two to let your new reality sink in and then enjoy the freedom to be yourself.
I have to agree with Mbanema. It would be entirely different is she revealed that information to some of your peers, but most teenagers only tell their parents about a friend's issues when they are genuinely concerned and unsure how to help them. Personally, although my sexuality has been discussed without me being present, I wouldn't consider myself to have ever been 'out', because I was never truthfully 'closeted' to begin with.
Yeah, I guess I do need to look on the bright side and forgive her. It just sucks that she would do that after all the trust I put into her and told her not to tell anyone. It wouldn't have been that bad but her mother made it public to a lot of people through facebook - hence forth why it was such a crud show. But I guess I'll get around to forgiving her, I just hope she apologizes for what she's done, because it really sucks bananas.
