Hi everyone, I didn't quite know where else to write this, I figured here would be good! I've known that I am gay for quite a while, probably since I was 11 or 12. At first I didn't come out to anyone because I was afraid of how people would react (like most, I guess, at a young age). I've gotten over that now, at least I think, but what has kept me from coming out more recently (and this might seem strange) is the thought that I've waited so long already and wasted so much of my life, basically. I never had a girlfriend, because I never wanted one (lol), and never had a boyfriend because I was never out, so I'm kind of stunted in the relationship department. Never even been kissed :icon_sad:. I know that this is ridiculous, and that I'm not going to get anywhere by staying in the closet, I can't really explain it. Anyways, I've started chatting to a guy at school recently. He's not gay or anything, I just feel like there's potential for us to be good friends. He started talking about significant others and asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no, and then he flat out asked me if girls were my thing. I kind of just said "fuck it"...I'd rather not start a new friendship with a lie, so I said 'Nope!' and he was totally OK with it. It felt nice. I don't know if it was easier to say it to him because I don't really know him that well, but in any case I figure it was a good start! Now on to my friends and family, I guess. Sorry that this is kind of long winded, but I think it's good to get it out there.
Nice job telling him! I would tell your other friends before your family, by the way. The hardest people to come out to are always your parents, so get up a good support network of friends before anyone else.
You seem really too harsh on yourself. You haven't 'wasted your life' - You'll hear this a lot here - coming out is not an event - it's a process. You made a gr8 first step! I had some difficulties coming out too. Came out to family at 21. Wasn't in my first long term relationship until I was 34. Coming out to family will be more difficult. make sure you have built a good support system of LGBT and Str8 allies before going down this path. Best wishes! - Tom
Hey DrBishop, I would say that I am in a very similar position to you. I'm 24 years old and I have also been sitting idly on my sexuality for quite a while now. Like you I have known for ages that I am very attracted to other guys but never really got around to addressing it, always just put it on the backburner to deal with later. Well I have similarly reached the point where I can no longer deal with it "later" - I wanna deal with it now so I can finally live that part of my life. Funnily enough when I told some friends of mine it was in a similar circumstance - we were in a group talking about relationships/crushes and they turned to me and asked me who I liked - clearly I had been sitting there quietly trying to be ignored. But I just thought "fuck it" and said I had a crush on X, Y and Z, all of whom were guys haha. Felt good to speak openly for once, but like you I still got a long way to go on the coming out front - namely the family!
You're not alone. I'm in the same boat as you, in fact your story sounds a lot like mine. Its not easy to explain, some people are just ready to deal with this part of themselves at an earlier age. I'm at the point where I've told a couple of my closest friends but I've put the rest on hold and I don't really know why. It felt great being honest with the first two friends but it almost happened too fast. Everything happens in due time I think and it sounds like you're ready to start making strides!
