Ok, here's my story.. I am 17 (almost 18 horray!) and I am in my final year of high school. I have come out to NO ONE in my school/town/family. I know I am gay and I have admitted it to myself. The only people I have come out to are people I have met on the internet who I think would understand me. I plan on coming out when I go off to university next year... I don't want to come out here because it's a homophobic town, my dad is somewhat homophobic.. and i am really just scared of how others would treat me here... I am having a really hard time to keep it in... and i have no-one here to talk to about it.. except for the internet... I dunno. i guess I just need advice on how to cope with it until fall... or if I should actually tell someone.. ie.. my mom? I feel she would be the only one to fully understand me at the begining.. but I really wouldn't want to put her in the position of only her knowing and having to keep it a secrete until I am ready.. I can usually keep my cool about it though.. but I was watching the movie "V for Vendetta" and it was at the part where it shows the past and the girl coming out to her family and her family being angry and upset about it.. she said she couldn't have done it with out her girlfriend holding her hand... i couldn't help it and I started balling. It was totally unexpected for me.. I am afraid of that reaction and the fact I don't have anyone to do it with.. which I know isn't necessary... but it still made me feel bad. That moment caused me to go on the internet and find something like this to see if it could help me in any way. I hope this site can help me... I feel alone when I know I am really not. Just some thoughts of what I have said would be nice. Thanks.
Hi Rob13! I am in a similar situation as you and I understand how you feel. It sounds like a good idea to wait until university to come out, but sometimes we feel like we need someone to talk, so maybe you could tell your mom like you said, or you could also tell your closest friends about it. I know it's hard (I haven´t done it myself :lol: ) but I think it would be a great relief; it's important to wait until you feel completely sure and comfortable. If things aren't going too well, you've got your friends (or any brothers or sisters maybe?) to hold your hand.(&&&) It's juts my opinion, I hope it was helpful.
I know it's scary, but do you have any really close friends that you could tell? As I've been going through the process of coming out, I was geniunely surprised at how supportive all of my friends have been, but I don't think I could have done it without my roommate's help (he's also one of my best friends). Good friends watch each other's backs, so it might be worth considering... If that can't or doesn't work out, we're all here to help too! I wish you the best of luck!
Hey Dude, Well if you live in a homophobic town, as I do, then maybe to make the best of your coming out process as positive as possible...if you can, wait until college! But only if you can wait that long. If you tell your mom, she will most likely tell your dad. Although you think your dad is a homophobe or that he truly is is an issue. The end result, if he is, well he will need to have some time to himself to digest this, then he will come to terms with the fact his son is gay. My uncle was a professional baseball player. He was a total homophobe...BIG TIME! He was enraged when I came out. Today, he and I are as close as can be and he has no issue with gay people. We work together everyday and laugh our asses off during work. My relationship has come full circle with my uncle since I became honest with myself and those around me. It doesn't necessarily happen overnight, but it will all come around. E-mail me if you have any questions. Eric
well first welcome to EC!!! I told a friend of mine first and then another friend after that but I wasn't ready to tell my Dad or other family members but I felt like I needed to tell my Mom even though she would have to keep it a secret and I knew that it was going to be hard for her especially keeping it from my Dad but I told her anyway and you know what it didn't seem to bother her that she had to keep it a secret in fact I'm glad I told her because she helped me a lot with coming out to my Dad and then later to my other family it really felt good to have her be there for me through all that so if you think you should tell your Mom I say do it she might just give you the support that you need and as for not telling anybody else it really is up to you, you will tell everybody when you are ready don't rush it just do it when you feel like its time. GOOD LUCK!!! Sam
thanks to all of you guys/girls. Just hearing from you all made me feel better. I think I will beable to last till university... if not... probably my mom will find out... she would be able to keep it a secrete too. If i asked her to promise... I have one brother... dunno what he would think. i am actually worried that if i come out in university (me not being around at home) that he won't understand and accept me for who I am with me not being around to show him i am still the same person. As for my friends... i think most of them will be wierded out somewhat cause I have dated like 5 girls since I was in grade 8 (guess why none of them worked) ... so everyone really thinks i am straight... Yea university is going to be good for me... Thanks again guys/girls for letting me know I am not alone.
Eric I loved your story about your uncle who is the professional baseball player. Sometimes it only takes somebody we love to come out to change hearts and minds. My son came out in a homophobic, very conservative small town too. You want to change how people think? Come out and live your authentic lives.
