Hey dudes, dudettes, and the dude-variant, For a few years now I've known that I am pansexual. I recently came out to a friend (in response to her own outing) which gives me someone to talk to about the small things but because she's not out to her parents either I had to ask around for myself. My parents and my school mates are all devout catholics which makes me 1000X more nervous about coming out. I once had a conversation with my mom about homosexuality which went along the lines of "they should all be exterminated". I've also recently discovered the term "gender fluid" which best describes myself. I want to come out to my school mates first but being that out of many I'm only friends with 3 people and I fear alienation from the 2 that I've yet to tell (I remember telling them I self harm and they both cried at the sight of my face for a couple days). From the rest of my graduating class I fear that they would take it as I want to get in all of their pants or would bring up some kind of religious debate which I always avoid being that I'm an atheist. My sister, 27, is bisexual but I don't think she knows that I know or anyone for that matter so I don't want to ask her for advice. Any help?:help: Thank you for your time. EDIT: I planned on coming out in college because of my severe anxiety. Long distance situations make me feel safe. Is that a good idea?
Space and safety are always nice. I think overall life just feels better with that weight lifted but honestly in small towns/overly religious areas it can be more work than it's worth. My first adventures with trying to come out (in a heavily religious environment) resulted in threats of being outed to my mom, physical violence, lots of nasty comments, and complete isolation. If you're not long away from being in college it might be a good idea to wait. Not living at home affords you a great deal of room for it being at least physically if not mentally ok if things go badly. Plus college campuses are generally pretty liberal and you're likely to find some allies there.
If you are dependent on your parents then make sure that you will have some place to live if they disown you. I hope it doesn't happen, but you need a backup plan in case it does. Also, you could ask your sister for advice, just don't say it's because she is bi. That way you can (hopefully) get some advice from someone older.
