So, one night at 2 am I was on here, but then I fell asleep with my iPad on showing that I was on Empty Closets all night. In the morning, my dad had to come in and wake me up, and I was really hoping that he hadn't seen what was on the screen, I know that my parents will be supportive but just am not ready to come out to them yet. I stopped worrying about it, and figured that he hadn't seen it and I was OK. But then at dinner tonight, we were talking about why it's good to learn to cook, and my mom told me that if I ever brought a girl home I could just make dinner for her. Which seems fine, but then she looked at me and said, "Or a boy, if that's what you end up doing." So now I really am worrying about if they know that I am gay, and how to proceed. But I might just be making a big deal out of something that isn't a problem, like I might have imagined that she was looking at me seriously. So basically, I think my parents know but am not emotionally ready to tell them and really need advice on what to do.
Don't tell them, then if they know, they know. But if they don't know, you will have an awkward situation. Come out whenever you are ready
I agree. Do not come out to them, make yourself confortable and don't rush it. I may have a hard opinion on this, but I deny The concept of comming out, if you are gay, you are a human being just like anybody else. Don't make a huge cerimony when the time comes, just let them know and move on with your life.
Well at least they fully accept it so if you decide to not come out yet, you at least know that when you do your family will be okay with it, that is great!
I'm going to go ahead and disagree SLIGHTLY with the others here. You seem to have a choice between two things: 1. Not telling them; never being really sure about whether they know and every time they say something like the above you sit there and think 'do they know?' In your own words "I really am worrying" about the whole thing. 2. You tell them. If they know they know, if not...well now they know, but you know they will be supportive. But you have to deal with the feelings of not being ready to come out yet. When I was worrying that my mum found out about my sexuality, my therapist told me that while I had that nagging feeling that eventually she would either bring it up and force me to tell her or deny it and/or constantly try and get me to talk to her about it, she had the power over when I came out. Because I thought she knew, and was trying to get me to admit it, eventually I thought she would ask. He said the quickest, easiest way to get that power back was to tell her, and own it. Not make a big deal out of it, just say 'by the way...' and move on. Obviously you don't want to come out if you're not comfortable with doing so yet, BUT I would advise trying to figure out WHY you're not comfortable doing so and try and fix that. But really that depends how much 'do they know' bothers you!
You know what? Your dad seeing EC on the ipad may have been for the best. You've given them a heads up - they've started to consider the possibility you may not be straight and the signs are your mum (at least) is ok with it. She's even constructed the mental picture of you bringing a guy home for dinner - and decided she wouldn't have a problem. Good news, right? ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2014 at 02:41 PM ---------- I'd also agree with Ellia - you've got a great opportunity to set the record straight You could refer back to the conversation at dinner - and say "I think you should know that when I eventually bring someone home, it will be a boy, not a girl" Save yourself a lot of heartache and get it over with. It took me until I was 28, and damn do I regret waiting.
I think that I'll see if there is any more evidence that they know. If so, I'll tell them and if not, I won't. I'm in no hurry, the reasons I would tell them are because I need support and advice, and the other one is if I want to bring home a boyfriend. For support, I've got a whole community online :smilewave I won't be getting a boyfriend any time soon. So I think I'll wait and see.
Good news. They already seem accepting of the idea! However, you don't have to tell them until you want to. I have yet to tell my family, and I doubt most of them suspect, but I'm pretty sure my mom has her suspicions. (Actually, I know she does.) It's alright if they know. You don't have to tell them until you're ready.
If you know they'll be supportive, if you know they aren't going to mind or make it a big deal, I think you should consider telling them. It'll take away the nagging fear and it'll make you feel slightly more free. Take your time over it, take as long as you have to, but keep it in mind as a real possibility. You'll get more used to the idea over time. Try not to worry about it and take as much time as you need to but really do consider it. And good luck with whatever you do
I know you're not ready to come out, but if they already know I think that's great. Either way, based on your mom's "or a boy" comment I think you're lucky to know that your parents will be okay with it. If they don't prod more there's really no need to have that conversation yet if you don't want to; do it when you feel comfortable.
Some of today's parents are much more understanding that they shouldn't assume their kid will be straight, and actually include that possibility in every day conversations. I know a mom who used to say stuff like that (when you're older and you meet a girl, or a boy) to her 5 year old son. Nice to know some kids get to grow up in an environment where it's really cool either way. So maybe they saw the iPad or maybe they're just open minded people. From her comment sounds like it's not going to be a big problem when you do feel ready to come out to them. You'll know when that time comes.
They good news is they are at least accepting of who you may be. (as you said you are only 11, still I knew by 10!). Come out when your ready!
A similar thing happened to me a minute ago when I had EC open on my computer and I didn't realize my roommate was standing right behind me!
Yeah....computers. Basically how I came out to my mom was that she found some Facebook message to this girl I was kind of dating. lol. The good news is that i don't think you'll have to formally come out to them. They seem very accepting so I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
U come out when you're ready and plus it sounds like they already know I would just let it hang loose and not worry.
Thanks for the advice! I think I'll be sending subtle messages to see if they do make that kind of comment again, and if so I think I will indeed tell them. But, like I said in a previous post, I'm in no hurry. I wasn't in a hurry when I found out I wasn't straight a year ago, and I still am not. I'm just hoping that they do know at this point, it would make telling them so much easier.
