so I met this lesbian about 10 months ago, at first when we knew each other and I wanted to be her close friend , one day we we're at class and we we're going to the toilet and she held my hand so I suspected something but I didn't quite pay attention .. A week later she told me she was a lesbian and normally in our country we stil don't admit this kind of people and we call them complicated so I was quite surprised but I wanted to support her and be that close friend to her although I didn't know her well I was open minded and didn't ran away from her .. A few days later she told me I was her type and that she wanted to go out with me , so I was a bit freaked but at the same time I kinda liked that a girl liked me so I didn't want to reject her and kept laughing so she told me she was jokin . The thing is she was in a relationship but still she gave me signs , she kept hugging me, holding my hands , kissing me in the cheeks, getting jealous , fighting with me all day and then come and make it up to me , kissed my hand but just into this point she still haven't told me she liked me and also she didn't quite do anything much too closer than that , then she kept giving me compliments , telling me that I turn her on , that she loves my perfume and stuuff .. After too months that I was quite close to her but not really because she always keeps telling me that I'm not her friend , at the same time she stays away from me but then gets back and be close to me , until this day that I was talking to her and then she kissed me , I was quite freaked and told her what the hell was that she told me it was all my fault getting close to her then at that same moment she kissed me a second kiss .. I waas freaked and pissed because she did that but was too shy to tell her that I felt bad about it, then another week passes and then she kept doing the same stuff that she did before then she kissed me another time and hugged me , kissed my belly .. I was so confused and I didn't want to be harsh on her and push her away because I wanted badly to be her close frriend when she just kept telling me that we weren't even friends .. then I started to like her , get jealous whenever I see her with others, wanted her attention so badly , or that she would feel anything at all about me , but the thing is she was still with her girlfriend and cheating on her while she does that with me , she loved her girlfriend but me I couldn't even recognize what she was doing with me .. then another day she kissed me and told me that I shouldn't be kissing her with my mouth close (I wasn't really kissing her back) , so I did please her and kissed her back .. then one day we travelled to another place and then we we're at this room and she started kissing me only this time it was longer than the other , she was trying to sleep with me , she actually put her hands under my shirt but I didn't want her to continue because that was not what I wanted , I loved her but not to the point that she gets to sleep with me .. The thing is I told her I loved her in a mesage but she never answered me back and kept asking me if it was true and what does it mean and then suddenly she said to me that I get pissed whenever I don't get her attention so I really got pissed and just didn't talk to her again .. I told eeveryone she was a lesbian and that she harassed me (her being a lesbian was a secret) and every girl that she knew just stayeed away from her , I seriously took my revenge on her , 2 months passed and that story was burried she came back to her normal life , her friends started to talk to her again and she apologized to me for all the things she diid .. But the thing is I really still love her (actually a while before that she told me that she wanted to stay away from me when I told her I loved her and then I told her I never have loved her it was just a stupid crush and she said to me that she felt it ) , I still obssessed with her , and I know I have no right to tell her anything after I hurted her so bad, but I can't let her go or take her off my mind please tell me what to do :icon_redf
Can you say approx what ages you two are? You said she is in a relationship, what kind, and is it still ongoing? You mentioned that it's not talked about in your country, is it one where being gay or lesbian has legal issues with it?
yes it is this kind of countries , now she's no longer in that relationship and I honestly don't know what status she is in , actually she avoids to being alone with me , she doesn't trust me or tell me anything about her and always doesn't come and talk to me until I talk to her also she always replies on just what I said and never anything else to the conversation .. Limited answers , and limited relation.. I am 22 she is 21
imo you should have stopped her in her tracks the moment she started flirting with you if you weren't into it not let it go on. outing her was uncalled for. you need to figure your feelings out and THEN talk with her and set your boundaries. if she doesn't respect them then she's not much of a friend.
well it's too late now she did what she did , I took my revenge on her and now she set boundaries to herself she doesn't come near me anymore , I know I love her but now I don't know what to do about it .. She doesn't come anywhere near me unless I'm with friends .. I don't know if she played me or did she loved me but I hurt her :/
If you feel badly about taking revenge on her, I recommend that you apologize. No matter what else might have happened, this might help you to feel less guilty.
I did apologized , but nothing is going to be the same anymore .. Because I accused her of sexual harassement and told everyone about it even a professor , now people get scared of her and what she might do , even though she came back with her friends but she'll never be the same with me , actually she avoids to talk to me , or even when I sit anywhere around her she keeps her distance, she treats everyone in a good and spontanious way but not me she have set boundaries to herself she even doesn't greet me with her face anymore .. My problem is that now that i'm in love with her everything has changed and now I even can't tell her how I feel because she'll reject me or maybe she will tell everyone about it just like I did , she avoids giving me any nice compliments she talks to me professionaly and whenever I ask her help in a subject that I want her to help me with she asks me to bring a group of people who want to understand that subject , she avoids being anywhere near me or alone with me at any spot .. Even yesterday I stayed and didn't go home because I'll get to talk to her alone but she just went home and left me .. I think she's running away and avoiding me .. I just i'm confused wheather I should move on or what to do anymore , But something tells me once before she liked me or even loved me but never wanted to admit it or maybe she was just playing me :/ now I feel bad I can't come back to what we we're , I can't do anything I can't make her love me .. but can you tell me from what I told you do u believe she loved me ?
I don't know her and thus can't be sure whether her display of affection might have entailed something stronger. However, from what you wrote, I'm not so sure that it sounds like she really loved you. What do YOU think?
That may very well have been the case. I don't think you should have taken any sort of revenge on her, but there's a possibility that she, too, played an inappropriate role.
Well now we got back as friends , and she already hates bringing up the past , she told me that was all foolish things that make no sense .. So I'm guessing she's sending me an indirect message telling me that she moved on .. But I'm still stuck at that period .. I mean she's so nice compliments me sometimes she just go for 5 minutes and say she misses me .. although she's avoiding me like always and don't wanna be anywhere near me if I'm alone or doesn't wanna be seen with me because that'll start the rumoors :s :s .. SO I'm in a whole new situation and I just don't know what to if I tell her she'll reject me that's for suure but I can't help it I love herr !
