Hello everyone, started coming out last summer, and my life has improved day by day. Now I feel I want to come out to an old and dear friend who happens to be gay. I'm pretty sure he is a bit into me, once he hit on me: I needed to crush at his place, and he asked if I wanted to sleep in the king-size bed with him or in the single bed. I don't feel any kind of attraction for him and I went for the single bed. Because of this, it feels a bit awkward to come out to him now. Any advice?
Don't let it be awkward. I wouldn't even bring that up unless he did, and if he does, just politely say you aren't interested and would like to remain friends. I think he'll understand, and be a great source of support for you.
I felt similarly about a 40+ year-old gay friend of mine, but he was well-intentioned all along. It wasn't that he was flirting with me, I just felt he was a bit over-affectionate. But that's just the type of person he is. I just recently came out to him (last week or so), and I'm extremely happy I did. He has AMAZING advice, and I really wish he'd join this site. I think you should come out to him. If he does mention the whole awkward issue of coming on to you, or persists with it, you can be firm that you're not interested. I'm sure he'll respect your boundary. The benefits outweigh any, extremely unlikely, downsides.
Definitely tell him if that's what you want to do. But don't mention anything about him coming on to you unless he brings it up first. If you assume that he's coming on to you when he hasn't done anything, that could set up some awkward situations. And like TJ said, if he does actually try to come on to you, firmly but politely let him know you're not interested. If he respects you, he'll respect that and back off.
You're all right. It's just that we've been friends for quite a while (7 years now!), but I've struggled with my sexuality all along, whereas he was already out when we met. We're pretty close, so he's always told me everything about his love-life, whereas I've always been completely silent about it. I started coming to terms with it last year, when he had already moved abroad... We are often in touch via social networks or instant messaging and I feel I want to tell him, now my closer friends know it, but wel... it's not easy. With new people it's ok, but with older friends it's always like you have to say something like: "sorry if I lied for all these years". (about the attraction thing, I think I could say something casual like: "you know, I like big guys with a belly" - which is true, and he's extremely skinny, so he should get it)
