Okay so I am going to be starting my junior year of college in a few weeks and I am in a pickle of sorts. I know my school has a Pride organization. I have never really felt the urge to go but in beginning my coming out process I want to meet others like me. Here is the problem, I am in a fraternity at school as well and I don't want my friends within my fraternity to know, I just worry it would be a chain reaction which I couldn't control. So any suggestions?
I think its is good that you want to join a group. It will definitely help you. If you are uncomfortable with the Pride group on campus because others might find out, you could always try joining a GLBT group/PFLAG chapter in your community. Having said this, even if you join the Pride group on campus you should still be okay. Most groups also have social events off campus. Plus, usually Pride organizations do respect your privacy. If you tell them that you are at the beginning stages of your coming out and you don't want other to find out they will respect that. If you want to get to know someone from the organization better you could always ask them to meet you off campus as well. Maybe you won't be participating in their on campus events but that's okay. Hope this helps!
I can't speak for LGBT college groups in general, but from what I've seen, they tend to be very understanding. If you say "I'm not sure I'm ready to come out yet". they'll understand. They won't come to your dorm or frat and start posting rainbow flags all over your door. It may be that another member of your frat is a member of the pride group, as well, but that just means you know you've got someone in your frat to confide in. Lex
There's a really great pride group at my school, and I know it has helped a lot of people out. If you don't want to be outed by joining this group at your school, however, be careful. I know the one at my school meets on campus, and everyone: gay, straight, homophobic, supportive, EVERYONE knows when and where the meetings are. In the group's beginning, many of their meetings were protested by anti-gay students. It now is a great group, as I'm sure your school's is, but just be careful that if you really don't want to be outed to your frat, that the meetings are private.
At my school our group is sort of like Alcoholics Anonymous...only without the whole discussing an addiction/disease thing. Group members meet up weekly, and talk about matters related to the LGBT community. People are free to talk about the group with others, their friends or whomever else, but I've never heard a member of the Pride groups talk about the other members. Additionally, most people that are straight and uninterested in LGBT issues show absolutely no interest in knowing anything about the Pride group. You don't hear any curiosity from straight people wanting to know whose in the group, or what goes on there, etc. I would be more involved in my Pride group at school, except this guy that leads it I HATE vehemently.
I would really recommend joining a glbt group if it's on campus or off, it would really help with the understanding and coming out process for you. I am a 22 year old from Canada, and This year I joined a GLBT youth group in my community, they have opened my eyes to the "community" and I am pleased and thankful for joining that group. I tell this to other people that I personally know who is in the coming out stage the decision to tell anyone and or everyone is up to you, if you do decide to go to the pride group and later on someone says something to you about it, you have the right to say, that you don't want to talk about it, or you can tell them you went with a friend, to give support for them, or you can tell them the truth, it's all up to you.
