Not hot enough :(

If someone does not want to be your boyfriend because you are not "hot" thats his loss and not yours. You do not want to build a relationship just on looks. Remember it is whats inside that counts the most. You will find someone.

 

Physical attraction is only part of any relationship. Any relationship needs to have different aspects to it. Thats what I should have said. It cant only be only based on looks.

 

Fred you run into some real losers sometimes. Listen............there is somebody for everyone in this world. You WILL find yours someday. This person is not right for you. Anybody that would come out and say that to you doesn't even deserve your friendship. Kiss his sorry ass goodbye. There are many qualities about Fred that somebody is going to fall madly in love with someday. You just have to be willing to hang in there until the right person comes along and he will! (*hug*)

 

Fred.
As I said earlier, Physical Attraction counts for very little over personality and the enjoyment of company. If this moron can't see how nice, funny, intelligent and caring you are then they really don't deserve you.

If you base your opinion of yourself on the opinion of what other people think of you, you are never going to be happy because there is always going to be nasty people out there who will treat you badly just because they don't like you for whatever reason.

You are a strong person in more ways then one. You're incredibly smart. You take time out to listen to people's problems and I know you're an extraordinarily loyal friend. There are so many GOOD things about you it pisses me off no end that you cannot see them in yourself when everyone else here can!!!

In time you will find your someone. You are only 18! You have your whole life ahead of you to find that someone so DON'T GIVE UP! When you find that someone you will see that they really love you for you, not for how you look. They will make you so happy you'll realise that you would have regretted giving up! So Don't GIVE UP. You're going to find them one day and they will be a wonderful person who knows the real you.

 

He's just another shallow superficial jackass if thats his reasoning for not going out with you. Ugh, people are stupid. And Fred i actually think you are really cute, and no im not just being nice, total completely i swear upon my future boyfriends grave honesty xD

 

He didn't say that you were not hot, he just said that he is not turned on. There are a lot "conventionally" hot individuals who won't turn me on as well... it's the whole idea of preferences.. so don't let it affect your self esteem...

 

I'm not hot, either. I'm willing to bet I didn't turn on the majority of gay guys, even in my prime. But that's true of most of us. I'd say roughly 1 or 2% of gay guys are what you might call "attractive". The rest fall into that "normal" or "average" category.

But guess what? Those of us in that large group still manage to meet guys, fall in love, get boyfriends, and get into relationships. Yeah, the hot guys have it easier. Guys are more likely to line up outside their door. The rest of us have to do it the hard way. We have to get out there, meet people, get to know them, and see if things click. Sometimes they do, and (as you found out today) sometimes they don't. At which point you keep them as a friend, if you so desire, and try again.

Lex

 

Fred, the more deeply you believe you're unattractive, the more likely people are to find you unattractive. And that has nothing to do with your actual looks--it has to do with how you carry yourself and how you act and respond to others. Like people have said, from what you've posted, he didn't say you weren't hot, he said you didn't turn him on. That's quite different from what you've interpreted it as. I don't turn my best friend on but frankly I think he's got poor taste in that respect. Similarly, I've found quite a few guys who turn me on where most other people have said, "Eww... he looks like a weasel."

Your problem is not how you look. Your problem is and always has been how you feel about how you look. I can tell you for certain you are miles away from ugly. You may not be the hottest person on the face of the planet, but either am I, either is anyone here, and somehow most of us muddle through that. There is always going to be someone hotter; the nice converse of that is that there is always someone less hot.

But seriously, the more you go around thinking you are ugly, the less likely anyone will be to recognise your attractiveness and the more likely you'll be to not recognise someone who appreciates your looks. So my advice would be to quit focussing on what you think other people are saying/thinking about how hot or not hot you are and start focussing on what you say to yourself about how hot or not hot you are. Because that's the only area where you're going to make any headway. You can't change other people but you can definitely change yourself and your own internal picture of yourself.

I'm not saying it's easy. It's not, even remotely. But it is possible and it's a hell of a lot more likely to get you some results.

 

I agree with Joeyconnick, a big part in being attractive is self-confidence and believing in yourself. I think you'll find the more you work on your self-esteem issues, the more you'll feel good about yourself and the more other people will find you attractive.

For the record, I think you're cute, so stop telling yourself that you're ugly as that accomplishes nothing, besides digging yourself into a bigger hole.

Hope that helped (*hug*)

 

Hey hey,

Read all of the above.. but i'd like to add that being "hot" IS in the eye of the beholder, Seriously! you might not be hot to him.. that said.. there's bound to be many other people who'd find you attractive! hot , sexy all of that!

You will find someone.. and he'll be better!!! much

Good Luck
xoxo.

 

This. It's easy to do, but perhaps you're misjudging what he means? Even the hottest guy or girl in the world wouldn't be every single person's type. Some people are more attracted to certain ethnicities, hair colors, height, etc. If he put it in insensitive terms though I can see how that'd be a blow to your self esteem, but judging from your pics you're an attractive guy :icon_bigg

 

Well, I don't think the difference between a lover and a friend is that you can have sex with them.
Of course sex is important but that's not all there is. Having someone to love and care for is much more fulfilling, imo.

But if it makes any difference, I think you are very hot. I know you aren't looking for compliments but I'm saying, that's just one guy's opinion.

 

From my personal experience and what I've heard, I don't think it's rare to find a conventionally ugly person attractive because of the personality behind the looks.

I don't think he likes your personality as much as he lead on. And don't interpret that the wrong way--I believe not just anybody can fully appreciate specific personalities, including yours and mine. You have to find that true complement based on personality, and then physical attraction will come from that.

 

I have similiar experiences...just as in the straight community, some in the gay community (I use it loosely understanding some are bi or don't even consider a sexuality) put emphasis on looks which to me is disgusting.

people who are that shallow do not deserve to be with anyone.

 

I agree with pretty much everyone here. Screw him. I had a crush on (straight) guy for like 10 months. Before he knew I liked him, my friend said he looked like the mix of a bat and a racoon, or something like that. All my girlfriends said they really didin't see anything in him. But I still had a crazy crush on him. Of course, that didn't work out cos he was straight.

But the bottom line is: you will appeal to some people, and not to others. That's true for everyone. You do have to be proud of yourself though -- so cheer up!

 

Fred,
If people don't like you for who you are then it's their loss. It's whats on the inside that counts but some people are too shallow to see that and who wants to be with someone who is shallow. If I was a gay guy I would date you HAHAHAHAHA! but I'm a lesbian so sorry!<<<<< that was my poor attempt to make you smile.

Seriously though Fred you will find someone out there who will find you absolutely so hot that they can't seem to breathe properly and until that time, don't let shallow assholes who will probably never find someone "hot enough" for them lower your self-esteem.

Show confidence when you go out and guys will say wow when they look at you because confidence is a powerful quality. Try not to look out of place and sad.

If someone doesn't think you are hot enough for them then they weren't worth your time in the first place. f@ck them.

Sam

 

Fred, you need to stop thinking about yourself in a negative way. There is much more to a person than their looks. You are a total package and looks are only a small part of that. If someone can't see beyond your looks and see the total package, they are not worth your time.

Instead of focusing on your perceived negatives on your looks, try and focus on some positives about you, the total package (ie. ignore looks). For example, do you have a good sense of humour? Are you a person that is easy to get along with? Are you good at doing something? These sorts of things also contribute to the total package of Fred. If you can focus positive thoughts on these things instead of focusing on the negatives, you will feel a lot better about yourself.

I hope this helps.