Ello, and please help me :(

Hi and welcome BenjaminJames,

Having had a strict Catholic upbringing, I can understand your frustration at not being able to be yourself and stuck at a conservative school. Although it is a few years back, I had an intense battle with my parents about the pros and cons of Catholic versus public school. I won using a bunch of arguments that may or may not apply to your situation. You'll have to do some research.

• Public school has more students, hence more diversity, better prep for college
• Public school has more diversified curriculum, subjects you will really need for college
• Public school is cheaper, no tuition
• Catholic school doesn't offer certain programs and subjects you like, theater, journalism, etc.
• It's better to be immersed in the real world now rather than culture shock in college
• You can take religion classes separately and spend school time on real world subjects

You could also try the conflict of interests argument. You just feel uncomfortable or get harassed by other students because your grandpa works there. Or you feel you are under constant observation or pressure to perform.

You obviously already have political experience so use your debating skills to convince your parents that you need to be at a public school. If they are liberal as you say, they will honor your wishes, especially if they know that your religious education is not being neglected (by offering to go to CCD classes).

Even if it's something like joining a top notch debate team or some other extracurricular activity like theater, parents generally don't want to deny their kids these once in a lifetime opportunities. At least my parents bought the argument.

Can you have someone else pitch the argument to your parents on your behalf, like maybe your grandpa? Or someone else they respect (your psychologist?), brothers or sisters, other relatives?

How about the argument that the school stifles your political ambitions because they deny freedom of speech?

I know this is easier said than done but why not force them to rethink their reasons for demanding that you go to a Catholic school. Tell them clearly that you will get the better-rounded education at the public school. And that is a fact. You meet more people from diverse cultural backgrounds than you would at a mostly segregated Catholic school. The sports and IT programs generally suck. Theater, broadcast arts, debate, and similar programs are poor or non-existent. Unless it happens to be an absolute ghetto public school, the quality of education will be far superior compared to the Catholic school. That is what you will have to fight for. Tell them that you want to be at a public school for those final 2 years of high school that are so important for college prep and for making career choices. You have to be with the rest to compete with them. After high school might be too late.

You can tell I have strong opinions on this issue.

If you can't immediately win the school issue, try to find a local support group where you might find a friend to confide in. I'm no expert on bisexuality but I know how important a good friend can be when you feel like you're all alone and can't really tell anyone. Hey, maybe there are some folks here with better ideas. At least we're always here to listen. Good luck and start convincing your parents. (*hug*)

 

Hey Ben.

I definately know what you are going through. I went to a Catholic school up until 8th grade, and would have gone to a Catholic high school if there was one in my town. Speaking just education-wise, you are getting a great education, which is definately going to prepare you for college.


I didn't come out until I got to college. My family is VERY VERY VERY conservative, so most of them still don't know. As hard as it is, and as much as you don't want to hear it, you might want to wait the 2 years until you are at college.

Some things to be prepared for when you do tell your parents.

-Be prepared to have to deal with many questions. I'm bi (even though my status says otherwise, I'm in a relationship with a girl right now so I call myself lesbian ) and the question my mom shot at me almost instantly was, "Well if you like both men and women, then why can't you just date men and be normal?!?" Also, many people have a hard time grasping the concept that you can actually like both men and women. One of my best friends, who is a lesbian, hated all bi people before she met me because she said they are either gay and don't want to admit it, or that they are just looking for a homosexual experiment or two.

-How reliant are you on your parents? Is telling them going to jeopardize your future? As horrible and selfish as it sounds, if telling them is going to keep you from being able to support yourself financially, perhaps it would be best to tell them after you are 100% financially independent.

-Any parent, no matter how conservative or liberal is going to be shocked. We, as LGBT children need to understand that our parents have our entire lives all played out in their heads. Telling them we are not the heterosexual children they thought we were crashes those dreams. Most parents will come around and realize all that is important is the happiness of their child, but it does take some a long time. While they need to be sympathetic to you, you also need to be sympathetic to them. Give them space and time after telling them.

Good luck and if you have any questions or anything for me, just pm me!
Kat

P.S. Also, I think it is great that you are active in politics. You sound like a good, solid guy, and we could use more people like you in our government system!

 

When I started college I started by tellling my new friends (after about 3 months) that I was bi-sexual, since they had no ties to my family and friends at home. This got me into the bisexual dating scene faster and brought up the confidence I needed to tell my friends and family. One year later after starting college in Pittsburgh and I was completely out.

 

This thread is over a year old and the thread starter has only ever made that one post.