So I came out to another person, but my problem is whether to come as gay or bi? I talked with my friend and said that if i liked going out with girls, but I prefer boys instead, but I want to make it sound like it's not a choice. I like girls, but I love boys. I'm confused, should I come out gay or bi?
Come out however you feel comfortable. If you are attracted to both sexually, however, you sound bisexual, but it's whatever you're comfortable with yourself. Bi, straight, or gay--none are a choice. You could explain your attraction to both, but a preference to one or the other.
If you are sexually attracted to females and males then bi. If you are only sexually attracted to males then you are gay. Welcome to the club
Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should wait a little bit, try to discern whether you are gay or bi, and then come out. You said you "like girls, but love boys". Do you mean that you don't mind being friends with girls, but you are attracted to boys? Expand a bit. Explain your feelings. Looking forward to this topic.
well here's the thing if u come out as bi its a lot easier than coming out as gay. But lets say u do come out as bi but really end up being gay and then u want to tell the world then you'll have to come out twice.
Actually, I like the way that you did it best. Explaining your sexuality is much better than letting a label do the talking for you when you don't fit neatly into the categories "100% straight," "100% gay" or "50/50 bi." Ask yourself: why are you "confused" about your sexuality? - is it because how you feel doesn't seem to fit with what you've been told about homosexuality/bisexuality? If so, then maybe you're not confused at all - you've just been mislead into thinking that all bi and gay people were a certain way. If you happen to fall into a gray area where you don't fit some people's ideas about what it means to be either, then you tell us/the world what defines you instead of letting a label do a bad job of it. (Although even then labels are OK as a short-cut in certain situations). - is it because you don't know who you're attracted to/how much? If so, then you probably do need to do some more exploring. That doesn't mean you can't come out to people you trust. Having supportive allies can be a big help in the self-discovery process. Just try to come out by explaining what you told us in your OP, not just sticking with a label. If you feel like you need to call yourself something, say that you're "questioning" instead of picking either gay or bi to identify as.
It's possible to be 'bi with a preference'. I have another thought for you, though. Your description thingy says you're internally female. If that's the case, being attracted to boys would mean you're straight, not gay.
Just FYI, transsexual usually refers to someone who's surgically and hormonally changed their biological sex, but transgender can refer to someone who hasn't done all that, but still chooses to identify as the gender they feel like internally. Trans* is an umbrella term that can include all people who feel that their biological sex doesn't fit their gender identity in some way. I don't mean to tell you how to identify - if you prefer to label yourself as a guy who is simply emotionally female that's perfectly fine. But it sounds like your experience of gender is very similar to the way many people who identify as trans* would describe their experience.
You're still young. I went through that phrase going back and forth. Try dating and see if you actually like girls. Theres nothing wrong with trying to figure out who you are. BTW Gay, Bi, Straight, Transgender is just a label for society so they don't freak out. Just be you and not label yourself
