I'm 25, and my mom has no clue I've been struggling with my sexuality, as far as she is concerned I'm straight. I know from conversations with my mom about the recent marriage equality things happening, that she would be ok with me being gay. That said, I feel like if I come out I'll be disappointing her or letting her down somehow. Is that normal or am I just crazy?
No I think that it is actually pretty normal to feel that way. Before I came out to my dad I was the same way even though I knew he was okay with it. When I finally did come out to him he just gave me a big hug and told me that he was proud of me for telling him and that it wouldn't change our relationship at all.
It's totally normal. That was one of my biggest fears before I told my parents even though I knew they would be ok. Maybe she knows and that's why she said she would be ok with it. Even if not then I'm sure she just wants you to be happy and not being yourself would be more of a disappointment.
It's not just you. My mom once said that she would be fine with me bringing a guy home for dinner, and I'm still worrying about coming out to her.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. If I can ever work up the courage to tell her, telling everyone else will be a breeze!
Try thinking about it the other way around. Disappoint: 1. Fail to fulfill the hopes or expectations of (someone). 2. Prevent (hopes or expectations) from being realized. You can't disappoint her for being lesbian because she has nothing to lose from that. There are two main 'hopes and expectations' she might have. 1, grandchildren. 2, you getting married. Now if you were straight, you might never have children and may never marry. I don't know how things are where you are, but give it time and you may well be able to adopt or whatever and get married in the future. Those things aren't dependent on your sexuality. On the other hand, SHE can definitely disappoint you! Your hopes are that you mean enough to her that something as trivial as the gender of the person you want to be with are not important. You expect her to love you enough to be supportive. She can DEFINITELY disappoint you!
Don't freat, it's totally normal. I felt the same way and still do a little bit. My mom still has a shred of hope that I will give her grandchildren though artificial insemination. She keeps trying to convince me that I'll change my mind about being child-free, and I told her if I ever get the desire to nurture anything, I'll just get a goldfish or a hamster. Pets are a lot nicer than children. :roflmao:
