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i dont know if i want to tell my mom

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ilovemypuppy, Mar 1, 2014.

  1. ilovemypuppy

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    I am worrying she will kick me out. My siblings are my life and I don't want to lose them. It hard to see myself with out them. I wish I could talk tomy friend who is bi butshe is mad at me because my boyfriend who I keep tell I don't want to be with but mom say we have to stay together. :bang:
     
  2. Molgera

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    From the sounds of it it sounds like you still are very unsure about coming out to your mother. I would hold off telling her for now, and focus more on trying to talk to your friend. She might be mad right now, but given a bit of time she might cool off and you will be able to talk to her about what's going on. As for your boyfriend I would say that if you are really unhappy with him to you should break up with him. Just because your mom wants you to be together doesn't mean you have to be. If she has a problem with it just tell her that you were unhappy with your relationship and it was time to move on to someone else.
     
  3. King

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    Are you genuinely concerned that your mother will kick you out? Or are you over-reacting?

    If you are seriously worried that your family is strongly homophobic and could not cope if you came out to them, then wait until you are financially independent before telling him.

    If you feel that they may be shocked by your sexuality, but will be understanding then you could tell them.

    As we don't know your parents personally we can only provide generic advice, so it is up to you to assess the options using your judgement. Don't make any rash decisions and only come out when your are comfortable to do so.

    Best of luck, and please keep us updated.
     
  4. ilovemypuppy

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    I want to wait tell I am 18. But my boyfriend is am ass he would tell my mom if I broke up with him. Because I stop all physical contact because my body physical get sick when he does. As for the girl she got a lot going on in her life.
     
  5. Theron

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    The fact that your boyfriend is using that as emotional blackmail means you need to break up with him even more than you realize. You should talk to your mother and tell her that he's emotionally abusive and you get disgusted when he touches you.

    If you feel like you need to, for your own safety, you could preemptively lie to your mother and tell her that he threatened to lie to her and tell her that you're a lesbian/bi if you broke up with him so that if/when he does tell her, you've already gotten to her first to protect yourself.

    Edit:

    I should say I don't normally advocate lying, but I grew up in a household where I had to hide it. When I was accidentally outed at 16, it was a brief living hell in my house, I ended up having a gun fired at me, and I was kicked out. But I had a psycho alcoholic uber Irish Catholic dad.
     
    #5 Theron, Mar 1, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2014
  6. ilovemypuppy

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    My m just stole my phone and read my message shit
     
  7. ilovemypuppy

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    Okay so I more flipped out now. My mom was not happy but show not other emotions. She told me that I was depressed and that the reason I am doing this. I told her that I always look at things different then her and she immediately started in on her bible preaching. Grr she said she was going to make it hard for me to see other girls. What do I do
     
  8. GayCJ

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    Sometimes you need to fight fire with fire. I like to point out stuff like where it says that a man shall not sleep with a man as with a woman, that is not gay love. That is gay lust, and the bible warns against sleeping with different people multiple times. Also, point out that you need context to make quotes from the bible any good in an argument. Take this quote here "Slaves: obey your masters." That sounds like a quote promoting slavery, but it is actually saying to make peace and not fight by obeying those that think they can control us. Like your mother thinks she can control you.
     
  9. ilovemypuppy

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    my mom will never listen to that. Because it also say children obey your parents. I go to a Christian school I spent hours memorizing the bible. But I don't think she should say stuff like that. But on a positive note tge girl that was mad at me is now talking to me.
     
  10. King

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    You will have to discuss it with her on numerous occasions and make it crystal clear that this is not a phase.

    You could tell her that there are many gay priests and gay churches etc to make her see sense.
     
  11. GayCJ

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    King's got a good point. I've been to a couple churches and have seen many different ways to preach. And my favorite was done by a married lesbian woman.
     
  12. ilovemypuppy

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    Um my mom told me I should not be on this site because it wrong. As for the church thing I go yo church were I go to school small town