So, two weeks ago, I came out to my parents. The thing is, I didn't really sum up the courage and sit them down, like I'd imagined. I didn't even get to use my alternate idea of using a rainbow cake and a letter. They asked me if I was gay. And in the moment, I had to say yes. I was ready to come out, and I definitely feel relieved that my secret is not on my shoulders anymore, but something feels off. I think it's the way in which I came out. I was expecting it to be me controlling the situation. Idk. Has this happened to any of you, and could you maybe give me some insight? Thanks!
I can completely relate. For starters, I came out to my parents at Disney World. I was planning on waiting until we had gotten home, but my sister brought up my girlfriend at the time, so I was forced to come out. I think we all have this façade of how we want to come out, and our expectations are really hardly ever met. So it's normal to feel like something was missing: I mean, that's how we're wired to feel when things don't go the way we were initially planning on.
Yeah, that's basically how I came out in the 2 times I offically came out- as bisexual and years later, as a transguy. It was all spur of the moment. With bisexual, I just blurted it out. My mom and I had been fighting- when she was apologizing, she said something like "I'll always love you" I was all "even if I'm bisexual." She took it surprisingly well. The only thing she didn't care for was my taste in women "Oh, but that girl you've liked for years? She's UGLY, why do you like her??" Being trans...yeah, it was a different story. She still hasn't come around. It can definitely feel like your moment was stolen, even if your parents took it well. Hey, I'd imagine even if they did, if you'd been worrying they'd blow up about it, then it probably seems anti-climatic. But keep in mind, they seem to be taking it well. And if they accept you, that's the best thing you can ask for. Especially if they don't make a big production about it. And in any case, I imagine you probably still have relatives to come out to. So, you've still got a chance to write letters/whatnot.
I think a lot of people have ideas they steadily create over time of how they plan on coming out, and feel like things should have happened differently if something else happens. Heck, that applies to more than just coming out. However, it goes away with time. I'd been ready to come out for months, but when I finally did, I wasn't totally prepared for it. I thought I was going to wait until I got a girlfriend or something, then sit my parents down and explain. I thought it'd be just like the movies/TV. But it wasn't. Instead, my mother and I were in a screaming and yelling argument where I was bawling like a baby. She kept asking me why I'd started shutting everyone out and thought all my friends were going to abandon me, and I just burst out with "because I'm bi." Needless to say, she was pretty shocked, but got over it quickly. I ended up going with my original plan for my dad the same night. He was sitting in the living room and I just kinda sat across from him and explained what happened during my fight with my mom. He took it really well. Heck, my sister took it even better... she started dancing and singing Lady Gaga... The point is, don't let the fact that things didn't go quite as planned be something that drags you down. Be happy! You're out! And yeah, it didn't go exactly how you imagined, but don't the unexpected things in life end up being some of the best?
