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Christian Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ConfusedGrl1621, Mar 2, 2014.

  1. ConfusedGrl1621

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    Hi guys. Let me start this out by saying that I am a devout Christian and I love God with all my heart. However, I disagree with a number of INTERPRETATIONS that people have from the Bible (because that's what they are - interpretations). One, obviously, is that being gay is a sin. I know that God loves everyone regardless of their sexual orientation. But that's not the problem. I am a senior in high school and I am not afraid to let people know that I am a Christian. It says it on my Twitter bio, I was in Bible Club while it was going on, I go to mass, I tweet Bible verses once in awhile..you get it. People are going to judge me if/when I come out of the closet but I am scared that they'll think that I am a hypocrite for believing in what most people think are two mutually exclusive things. Any advice/suggestions? Should I just wait until I am in college? Are people in college any more accepting??
     
  2. Randy

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    I am in the exact same position - devout Christian and on a quest to know God (or khnow him better) and to understand scripture better. But what I have found is that people will not not love another person based on sexual orientation nor treat you like a hypocrite. (EDIT: but more based on personality.) What I mean by that is that people know that I am Christian and know that I believe in God; however, when I came out, they did not call me a hypocrite or what have you. They opened me with welcoming arms and did not think anything more after that. People still treat me the same and nothing has ever changed. I try, to my upmost ability, try to devulge the fact that being a Christian and LGBT are two mutually exclusive things. Do whatever will make you happy, if waiting until college makes you less nervous than so be it. And yes people in college tend to be more accepting but college being a larger community, more conservatives are possible. If coming out comes with questions about the two things being exclusive or whatever, then so be it. Do whatever you think is best for you meaning come out when you're ready.
     
    #2 Randy, Mar 2, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2014
  3. ConfusedGrl1621

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    Thanks for the advice! I might just wait bc I don't know if I will be able to handle all of the stares and whispers and drama that will result in my coming out. If that makes me weak, then I guess I am. Maybe it makes me smart??
     
  4. Randy

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    You're doing what suits you best, I don't see how that makes a person weak. In my opinion, it makes a person mighty and smart because they can overcome themselves and find out what is best for them.
     
  5. confusedandi

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    This was originally a powerpoint, I think you may find this helpful :slight_smile:
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    To my wonderful Mama

    Dear Mama,
    It’s taken me a lot of time to work up the courage to make this. I would greatly appreciate if you read this all the way through with an open mind and take time to reflect on it before we discuss it together. I love you very much and I want you to know that I am still the same person you have raised. I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior and I have spent so much time praying, reflecting, and asking God to give me clarity about this topic. After a long time of internal debate, God gave me peace in regards to homosexuality. In eighth grade I suspected that I was attracted to girls. I knew, however, that the common belief in the Christian faith was that this was a sin. I disregarded it as Satan misleading me and tried to forget about that thought. Freshman year was the year I got my first boyfriend. You remember W; he was sweet, funny, and taught me Chinese. I really did like him and enjoyed spending time with him, but the thought of kissing him was something that did not appeal to me at all. Then came sophomore year. That was one nightmare of a year. I had a huge crush on S. He was fun to talk to and there was no physical closeness because he lived far away; it was purely an emotional crush. When we moved to C----, my attraction towards girls resurfaced again. Do you remember me mentioning B? The girl who moved to Texas? I asked her out that year in December after she moved. We went out for about a month. She was wonderful and she was the only one I could picture a long-term relationship with and the only one out of all my crushes that I was sexually attracted to. We broke up because we both are believers in God who didn’t feel comfortable coming out. I tried dismissing it as a phase and quickly started dating A. Ew. We don’t really need to go any further on that one. My next candidate was J. Super feminine. Still wasn’t attracted to him (we both know he’s not that attractive regardless). After J I tried to date AK. We were good as friends but our relationship was toxic. I was trying so hard to make things work, but they just didn’t. Now here we are in my senior year of high school. First semester I was still struggling. Not so much with whether it was a sin or not, but more in regards to what my orientation was. I was beyond frustrated because I had liked both guys and girls, yet couldn’t picture a life with a man. Then I stumbled upon this video and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. Human Sexuality is Complicated... - YouTube (please watch before continuing)
    I realized that my romantic orientation is both guys and girls, meaning I can get emotionally attached to either gender. But when it comes to my sexual orientation, it’s strictly girls. I understand that you do not support the homosexual lifestyle due to what the bible says on the subject and that you will love me no matter what. With that being said, I hope that you will take into consideration what the following slides have to say. I’m sorry I’ve kept so much from you, it’s hard to be honest with you when I couldn’t be honest with myself. I love you very much and I thank you for giving me the wonderful gift of Jesus Christ.
    Love, your daughter

    Sodom and Gomorrah
    Sodom is mentioned 48 times, yet not one is in regards to a consensual homosexual relationship:
    Gen 10:19
    Gen 13:10, 12-13
    Gen 14:2, 8, 10-12, 17, 21-22
    Gen 18:16, 20, 22, 26
    Gen 19:1, 4, 24, 28
    Deu 29: 25
    Deu 32:32
    Isa 1:9-10
    Isa 3:9
    Isa 13:19
    Jer 23:14
    Jer 49:18
    Jer 50:40
    Lam 4:6
    Eze 16: 48-49, 53, 55-56
    Amo 4:11
    Zep 2:9
    Mat 10:15
    Mat 11: 23-24
    Mar 6:11
    Luk 10:12
    Luk 17:29
    2Pe 2:6
    Jud 1:7
    Rev 11:8
    I have all of these marked in my Bible, please read the context as well =)

    Fun fact time! The Hebrew word for Sodom and the Hebrew word for sodomite have no linguistic connection!
    Sodom
    Part of Speech: proper locative noun
    Root Word: from an unused root meaning ‘to scorch’
    Biblical Usage:
    Sodom = ‘burning’
    a Canaanite city, usually paired with Gomorrah, located in the area of the dead sea and Jordan river; both cities were destroyed by God in judgement
    Sodomites
    Part of Speech: masculine noun
    Root Word: from a primitive root with multiple meanings depending on the region it was used in
    Biblical Usage:
    male temple prostitute

    But what about Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13?
    The Levitical Law and the Holiness Code are for the children of Israel, not for Christians.
    Leviticus is written for the children of Israel to obey as they prepare to occupy the land of Canaan (modern Israel).
    Des 5:3
    the law of Moses did not apply to anyone before God gave it to Moses (Sodom was before Moses)
    God made His covenant of law in approx. 1450 BC with Moses and the Jewish people who were getting ready to possess the land of Canaan. It was not given to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It was not made with everyone living on Earth. It was for a specific time for a specific people in a specific circumstance.

    The Holiness Code of Leviticus was written to outlaw the pagan practices of fertility goddess cults in ancient Canaan.
    Christians didn’t appear in Scripture until Act 11:26, the New Testament doesn’t instruct Christians to live under Jewish law or observe Jewish rituals.
    The Law of Moses went out of force when Jesus died on the cross.
    Heb 9:16
    Mat 11:13 (the ‘until’ is important)

    And Romans 1: 26-27?
    This was written to the idolatrous Corinth and Rome. It showed the results of idolatrous ways. Lust. Destruction. Swaying from the way of the Lord.

    Ok, ok. But what about 1 Corinthians 6:9 & 1 Timothy 1:10?
    The word ‘homosexual’ was translated from the Greek words ‘malakos’ and ‘arsenokiotes.’

    Malakos usually referred to intellectual or moral weakness or softness. It was rarely used to describe homosexuality. Jesus never used this word to describe homosexuality but for the soft, luxurious clothing worn by the rich.
    Mat 11:8
    Luk 7:25
    Arsenokiotes was also never used as a term for homosexuality.

    Here are words Paul could have used for Homosexuality
    arrenomanes - meaning mad after men or boy crazy


    dihetaristriai - a synonym referencing lesbian sexuality, meaning essentially the same thing as hetairistriai, tribad, tribades, from:Love Between Women: Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism, Brooton, Bernadette, p. 23.


    erastes - a sometimes older man who loves a sometimes younger male


    eromenos - a sometimes younger male who loves an older male


    euryproktoi – men who dress as women, also a vulgar reference to anal penetration


    frictrix - Latin word referring to a lewd woman and sometimes used to refer to a lesbian. Tertullian, 160-220 AD, translated tribas (a masculine woman) as frictrix.


    hetairistriai - women who are attracted to other women, used by Plato’s character Aristophanes, in The Symposium. May also refer to hyper-masculine women, from Lucian’s Dialogue of the Courtesans, cited by Brooten, p. 52.


    kinaidos – a word for effeminate, κίναιδος or kínaidoi (cinaedus in its Latinized form), a man "whose most salient feature was a supposedly feminine love of being sexually penetrated by other men." Winkler, John J., 1990, The Constraints of Desire: The Anthropology of Sex and Gender in Ancient Greece, New York: Routledge.


    lakkoproktoi - a lewd and vulgar reference to anal penetration
    lesbiai - a synonym referencing lesbian sexuality, meaning essentially the same thing as dihetaristriai, hetairistriai, tribad, tribades, from: Love Between Women: Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism, Brooton, Bernadette, p. 23.
    paiderasste – sexual behavior between males
    paiderastes or paiderastïs - παιδεραστής derived from the Greek word pais, παῖς a boy, meaning lover of boys


    paidomanes - a male mad for boys or boy crazy


    paidophthoros - a Greek word meaning corrupter of boys


    pathikos – the passive penetrated partner in a male couple


    tribades - an ancient Latin word indicating the active female partner of a lesbian pair, sometimes interpreted to mean a pseudo-male, referencing genital contact between women. Rashidefines it as “rubbing in a sexual manner.”


    tribas - the active partner in a lesbian relationship, who takes the male role



    Resources I used and Good websites to visit ^_^
    Romans 1.26-7: The Bible 'Says' Homosexuality Is a Sin? | Joel L. Watts
    Hebrew Lexicon :: H5467 (KJV)
    My Coming Out - True Story of Rick Brentlinger's Spiritual Journey
    Adam and Eve Are Wonderful Yet God Also Blesses Other Marriage Partnerships
    Cult Prostitutes and their sexual worship of the fertility goddess are forbidden
    Evangelicals admit the Sodom story has nothing to do with homosexuality.
    Leviticus was written to Old Testament Jews, NOT to New Testament Christians.
    Shrine Prostitutes are never said to be homosexuals in the Bible.
    Molech worship included sexual worship of Ashtoreth, his fertility consort.
    Romans 1 describes ancient shrine prostitution, not modern homosexuals.
    Against Nature - Romans 1 May Refer To Sex With Angels - Testament of Naphtali.
    Define Malakoi - This word, as used by Jesus, refers to soft luxurious clothing.
    Arsenokoites was never used in antiquity with our modern meaning of homosexual.
    What words could Paul have used if he intended to condemn homosexuality?


    The End
    Thank you for reading this. I love you so much! Thank you for being so loving to me and sharing your faith and therefore giving me the gift of salvation. I am proud of who I am and who you’ve raised me to be. I am a firm believer in Christ. I am loving. I am forgiven. I am your daughter. I am gay. I am unique. I am talented. I am smart. I am yours. I am a child of God.
    Love Always!
     
  6. Randy

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    confusedandi, thank you for providing that :slight_smile: I may look over that for personal reasons :grin: holy crap that's alot of stuff. I'm wondering how long it took you to prepare that...
     
  7. confusedandi

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    It took me a while but every second was worth it as I found peace in the Word of God :slight_smile: I would encourage you to read those Bible verses and the context around them before sharing it with others :slight_smile:
    Xx confusedandi
     
  8. ConfusedGrl1621

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    Thank you so much! Wow I appreciate the time you took and I hope everything went okay with your mom! Thank you thank you thank you! I'm visiting those sites as I type lol
     
  9. confusedandi

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    You're very welcome :slight_smile: I haven't come out to my mum yet, I'm planning on doing so tomorrow and I'm deathly nervous :S Good luck darling!
     
  10. duende84

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    Hi Confusedgrl

    Welcome to EC. You are not alone and also certainly not alone as a Gay Christian. God's love is bigger and more forgiving that we can ever try to imagine!

    I came out to many of my Christian friends and they all accepted me for who and what I am.

    Since I realised that I a gay I have been in a constant conversation with God about my sexuality and that I need guidance to help me navigate this very difficult "new world" I find myself in.
     
  11. ConfusedGrl1621

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    Thank you for the advice! I know that there are other gay Christians out there but it's always nice to talk to people who have gone through the same experiences.
     
  12. EdmondDantes

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    Wow, that was REALLY handy confusedandi! Thank you so much for providing that!
     
  13. Ettina

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    My parents aren't gay, but they're Christian and pro-LGTB.
     
  14. Belkeseri18

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    I just accepted the fact that I'm gay, and I'm new to the community, so I'll try to keep this short. I have grown up in a christian home all my life. I grew up in and around church. I always learned that homosexuality was wrong. So for the longest time, I denied the feelings and thoughts I was having because I thought (or was taught to think) that those feelings were wrong. I applaud you for having the courage to keep your faith, despite the fact that the christian church as a whole is anti-gay. I am also a first year college student. I have not come out to any of my peers on campus, but overall, people seem more open minded to topics like being gay and coming out. Like I said, I am just now accepting who I am so I hope this helped you some how.
     
  15. Julieno

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    Well there are lots of information in this thread that proves that homosexuality is not necessarily regarded as an abomination in the Bible. Anyway I would just like to add that even not every christian, including important people, within the church think badly of homosexuality.

    http://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/wp-content/uploads/Wholly-Holy-Jan-30-2013.pdf

    This guy has a PhD in Christian ethics and is the vicar of St. Martin in the Fields in central London. While he is Anglican (I am agnostic but raised catholic) he makes some really good points.
     
  16. confusedandi

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    it didn't go well