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I am confused about sexual feelings.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mazmie, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. Mazmie

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    Hi,
    :tantrum:
    I am confused about sexual feelings.

    Growing up I've always thought of myself as 100%Gay. I've never been attracted to girls at all, they always turned me off.

    But lately I've been thinking that some girls are beautiful and have nice boobs that I enjoy looking at. I can't help this.
    Would I ever have sex with a girl? I don't think so. Just because I don't feel that strongly about "that" part of girls. But if the situation ever came up I can't say definite that I would say no.


    I do know that I'm not attracted to girls in a romantic way. Ive always seen myself with a guy and I don't want that to change.

    Nothing wrong with a guy and a girl, I know. but when I imagine myself that way it feels very wrong.

    But I wonder can I even call myself Gay anymore.
    Please let this be some stupid phase I'm going through.
    I hope someone understands .

    Thank you for listening. :eusa_thin
     
    #1 Mazmie, Jul 13, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2008
  2. MeskElil

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    I say you're gay. Simply gay.
    The fact that you can only imagine yourself with guys says a lot. A lot of gay guys say that they can identify a hot girl, and that they think girls are pretty. But that doesn't mean they are exactly attracted to them.
    I can see a guy and say, "Oh, wow, he's hot." But I don't find guys sexually attractive (no offense, guys.)
    But you're not alone. A lot of people think like that.
    Focus on the fact that you really picture yourself with guys and would enjoy being with one. That says it all right there. And the fact that you think you can't really have romance with a girl...that's even more telling.
    Don't worry about it. As has been said MANY times before on here, sexuality is fluid, so you may just start liking girls as well and become bi. You never know. And also remember my favorite saying: We don't like genders. We like people.
    So there's someone out there who will make your heart go WOW, and you shouldn't have to limit yourself.
    Love who you love! You'll find someone, and it won't necessarily have to be a guy.
    Hope this helps.
     
  3. -Michael-

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    i dont think you have to label yourself.
    I mean its only a label...

    Im kinda the same.
    I can think i girl is nice looking, but i dont find her attractive.
    I can see why other people do....i just dont haha.

    Don't get flustered, just go with what you feel and don't feel the need for a label.
     
  4. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC! :wave:

    The main thing to remember about labeling - whether it's you or someone else who put the label on you - is that you should never feel you need to "live up" (or down) to what that label is or implies. You've always been turned on by guys, so "gay" was the obvious label. Now you're finding some women attractive. Hey, it happens. Don't feel you have to tear the label off and start over, though. Just go with the flow. Keep an open mind.

    Maybe you'll decide you want to give women a try.
    Or maybe it'll never develop into more than just an occasional fascination or fantasy.
    Or maybe it'll stop altogether.
    Whichever it is, let it happen. Don't force it. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  5. Mazmie

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    Thank you all for the great replies. [​IMG]
    I'm still confused as to why suddenly I'm feeling these things when I didn't before.
    I do feel a lot better though. (*hug*)

    I guess secretly I'm worried some guys won't want to date me because of this but I know it's silly. :icon_redf
     
  6. MeskElil

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    Don't worry, they'll still date you. They probably have these feelings themselves. I think everyone does, to a degree.
    You never know--depending on how old you are, it might be puberty. But just don't label yourself and don't worry. No one will care that you feel that way because, trust me, you're not alone.
    (*hug*) You're going to be fine. Don't worry about it. Just go with it--it's who you are.
     
  7. Mirko

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    Hi and Welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    As the others members have indicated, sexuality is something that can change. It is part of what it means to be human. There is no need to label yourself at this stage, if ever. As Lex indicated, it is possible that your feelings and your sexual identity will change with time, which is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. Go with the flow... With time you will have figured it all out. It is important though that you don't rush into anything. Take your time.

    You will find someone that wants to date you. No worries. You'll be fine.

    Hope this helps!
     
  8. acorn7

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    I wouldn't worry about it... I find some girls hot, but I don't have a desire to sleep with them. It's hard to be 100% anything :wink:
     
  9. Mazmie

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    I have a hard time accepting myself as someone who could be attracted to women. But don't mind, I am very messed up.
    Need to keep telling myself it's "okay" to feel this way. :slight_smile:

    Thank you all for the kind reply. (*hug*) :smilewave
     
  10. Mirko

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    No worries, with time you will be able to accept yourself. Every person goes through this. No worries. You will make it. Yes, keep telling yourself that it is okay!

    If you ever need to talk or need someone to listen feel free to pm me any time.
     
  11. Sam

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    Hi welcome to EC!

    Don't worry about labels just do what feels right if that means being with guys then be with guys, if that means being with girls then be with girls. Don't worry about what to call yourself. Sexuality is confusing and you can't always make how you feel fit into a nice neat little label.

    I can find guys attractive but I don't want to have sex with them.

    Don't worry about having trouble finding a date I'm sure there will be plenty of guys who will want to date you.

    Sexuality is a very strange thing and it can often change throughout your life and with the experiences you have. No matter how you feel just know there is nothing wrong with it and just do what makes you happy.

    Sam
     
  12. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    I think a lot of people are in the grey area, and hardly anybody is 110% gay or straight. I too find that some guys make me go "wow, he's smokin'" but I don't know if I would want to actually go there. As the others have said, a label is just a conveniance and it can never describe fully the intricacies of a real human. Just do what feels right and try not to worry about betraying a label or whatever. The people who are worth it will understand if you're a little unique and have your own little quirks of sexuality - because let's face it, the best peeps always do :grin: