I've been on EC for about 5 weeks now and made some of the best friendships I've ever had in my whole life. I've had countless conversations with various members, responded and posted a number of threads in the forums, and blogged extensively about the path of my life that initially led me to finding this amazing resource. At long last, after 19 years of hiding the truth from my wife, it is now time to come clean. I hope I have the strength to get through this conversation. This will permanently change our lives and our kids lives. I want nothing more than to guard them from being traumatized by this, they don't deserve to have this burden and just be kids. I expect I will not het through the conversation coherently, so I wrote a letter I will have with me to give to my wife if needed. I added it to my blog on my profile page if you want to read it and offer any suggestions or comments. There is no good time to do this. There are no words to ease the pain we have to go through. I hope someday she can forgive me for putting her through this. -Rich
I wish you all the strength in the world. This will be an important event in your life, but remember that it is a process, it's the long game you have to consider. Not everything will register right away, not all the implications will be immediately understood. Your task will be to remain confident and determined throughout...it will get better!
It is exceptionally brave of you to this. It will be a long journey so have patience and keep asking for support here when necessary. Good luck.
Good luck! And my best wishes for you and your family. This won't be an easy time, but I hope that somehow this process will lead to a place for the highest good of all concerned.
thank you everyone for the encouragement. we talked for a long time last night. I ended up having to just read the letter to her, I couldn't get words to form in my mind. she is hurt that I took so many years of her life. hurt that I took the choice away from her by not being honest when we were dating. we agreed divorce is.the path forward, we do not have a timeline, and have some things to take care of financially and to get ready for selling he house. not sure what housing options will be after that. she agreed I will always be part of the kids lives. it was emotional as expected but it could have been so much worse. I'm.worried about the kids, finances, and hope my wife can be happy again with someone.
Congratulations, of all the virtues, courage has to be the first. Without it, all the other ones will never appear!
Congratulations for choosing the more difficult but ultimately better path. She may not see it that way now, or ever, but I would bet that part of that hurt and anger is also self-directed, because for all this time she never clued in something this important was going on. I'm not saying this so you can throw it back at her, obviously, but to to let you know whatever negativity she will exhibit in the future is not all directed at you.
It sounds like it went about as well as could be expected. She's taking it a lot better than many straight spouses do.
