Hello, was hoping I could get some insight into another problem of mine. Firstly, I'm still not entirely sure what to label myself, I definitely like men, but I'm not too sure where I stand on women, whether there is actually something there or if it is something else. For the sake of simplicity I will just go with gay. Secondly, I'm not sure if this is the right area to post this thread, but if you do manage to make it to the end it will (hopefully) become clear why I chose this one. I have come out to one person, my best friend, (who I also happen to have fallen very, very hard for. He knows I like him, is fine with it, and there is a possibly a slim chance he likes me back, but that's another story) Anyway, quite recently I've been feeling very depressed and I can't seem to figure out why. A bit of background, I live at university, in a house with 5 other guys, we all get along very well and will most likely end up together again next year. None of them have any idea that I'm gay, and we go on nights out normally once or twice a week. A couple of weeks ago, I avoided all contact with them for nearly a week, and I've done something similar this week. Again, I can't really explain why, but my sexuality probably has quite a bit to do with it. Part of me wants to tell them, or at least one of them, but I'm worried about what will happen afterwards, and I'm not entirely sure of telling them will make me feel any better. The one I am thinking of telling I have known since I started uni back a year and a half ago, he is on my course and we share most classes. I've heard from people on my course that when I shut myself away for a week he was really worried, which was nice to know. I went into his room once and saw he was watching something on his laptop. It was that short film following a young girl in an alternate reality where mostly everyone was gay. Anyone reading this may have seen it, I myself saw the same video thank to this forum. So I think out of all of them he'd be the best bed, and probably the only one I actually want to tell at the moment anyway. I just don't know, I mean, this is someone I still have to live with for several more months. but then he is in most of my classes. I'm definitely not comfortable with loads of people knowing either. I really have no idea, I wouldn't even know how to tell him, I have a few ideas, but well... What does everyone else think?
If the video he watched is the one I'm thinking of, I don't think he'd have watched it without taking the piss or getting angry if he wasn't basically OK with the message of it...that film is soul destroying... Obviously I'm just guessing here, but if it were me I would think he will be OK with the whole thing. He also worried about you when you shut yourself away so if nothing else it suggests he cares enough about you to not completely screw you over and go telling your secret to the world.
It sounds to me that he'd be okay with it. Like Ellia said, the fact that he cared enough to worry about you tells me that he wouldn't screw you over or ditch you. And if you're worried about your orientation re. girls, don't be. You'll figure out in time where your feelings stand about girls.
LOL. I found my standpoint on women by watching Shakira on youtube for a half hour, because I liked some of her songs. Not once did I get aroused.
