incredible resentment towards female heterosexual psychologists & heteros in general

I was going to give the heterose4xuals a lecture but i just cant into their stuff.

ive been seeing all female psychologists for 20 years and the last one of them was the worst but all of them need a bit of a lesson


i know coming out is liberating to many


first of all i dont like the term "coming out of the closet"

for me, its an ego tripping heterosexuals little closet that im supposed to stay until i "accept" im gay, or "stop being in "denial" that's im not a heterosexual.


Hearing these two words - "accept and denial" are instreme insults and telltale clues of the egotistical superiority complex these heterosexuals have that that perhaps i have to accept "im not like them" or "get out the denail im not like them".


this closet that im supposed to come out of. Im suppos3ed to come out the this little confined area and present myself to a room full of cheering heterosexuals in the back, knife weilding homophobes that that have been "telling me to get out the closet faggot" and then greet a whole bunch of excited new women that want me as thier next "gay best friend".. as the introduce themselves they have a paris hilton puppy dog in a channel handbag.

This is a heterosexual room that im coming out of and im supposed to be in the because these female heterosexual psycologists dervsalue and deny the legimicay of my valid emotional attractions to women and life long trauma of being emasculated by society and lifelong reclusivness.


The last two psycologists could grapple the statement i made that "i want to be gay". They couldnt understand that i would never label myself as bisexual because its got too much "heterosexuality in it" and i coant even fathom myself to label myself as a heterosexual as homosexuality requires 100% and even giving 1% to heterosexuality was a complete and utter insult to my homosexuality.

They continued on a path about being ashamed of being gay and didnt understand that my "homosexuality is bulletproof"

The following is metaphrical stuff not crazy talk:

In the end to end this battle of what am i I had to treat the pigeon holes as 2dimensional objects - square for str8, triangle for gay and circle for bisexual.

next the 3d things are the humans in this world - the cubes, the prisms spheres..


so i told my psychologist that i was a tesseract ( a for dimensional hypercube) and she was like "wow! so amazing!".. eventually i got rid of that woman and have begun to resent her, espcially when i was able to say "ive got a feeling my heterosexual emotional feelings wont go away" and she tells me "whats the big deal about hetersexuality anyway??" like its time for me to get over it.. doctor said pretty much the same thing.


so in development of this dimensional stuff i took two terms into this 4th dimension that i will battle and war against anybody in that psychology world.

the first word is "homosexuality" and i'd prefer they stick with their word "gay" and not use something that is too godlike for them to use in front of me. Its too sacred. Thats what they can accept.

secondly is the lifesaver pigeonhole that no medical professional is going to use their feeble minds on. Its not an orientation but its a term describing sexual beahiour. This term is "men who have sex with men"


As hard as it is for heterosexual female psychologists, doctors and the heterosexual community particular women to believe. "men who have sex with other men" is not full of closet homosexual men. Its not going to be a paragraph or a dismissal.. i can see my doctor just pissing it off as another denail


its a long story beut my trauima is that my emasculation resulted in my having a "gender identity{" crisis at 13. i think as a sel;f protective measure.. and I found that having sex with men was a perfect way to be feminine. I did everything the heterosexual world said would make me a girly fag and took it 100 times worse.


I even got incredibly estensive provocative homosexual/femine tattoos on my buttocks that have pretty much defined me as femine gay and killed heterosexuality in me for good and there was a crisis but i want them to stay.

When hetero men say "if i had a poenis in me id wanna die" i make sure i get agangbang. When gay guys say "your only gay if you take it" i make sure i take allot.

if these psycologists and deoctors want a challenge maybe they should see if i can accept "masculinity" in me which i will never ever accept. even even if it means never filling that emotional void with women, which is a tragedy.. ill stay a recluse.

trhe other problem is that "men who have sex with men" was the niche i could use to be feminine and have it anon.. and unlike what these "female heterosexual psychologists (all 10 of them) would say - the majority are either bi-curious or heterosexual married men.

These men are all "blow and go" but i dont want a traditional gay person because im focused on extremes - so im damn stuck.


also its annoying to see how hetersexual men and women seem to be having lots of same sex action these days and they get to keep their valid attractions. I've decided to let them keep the kinsley scale... i suspect they hijacked it for themselves anyway.

maybe all the big stroinmg alpha male pity bull walking muscle car guys can touch a few hundred penises and not be 100% gay because the women need a few good men to stay hetero.

I am certain the kinsley scaler doesnt apply to bisexual or gay men" that just arent that super masculine alpha male macho adonis that women need. It annoys me that they get to swing around giult free.

I am just going to make sure no women or hetero doctiors tell me that men who have sex with men are only closet gays because that's been my whole life and heterosexual men are heavily involved in that secret world and many of them betray their wives. The women really need to get STD tested in fact. I truley think these heteros4exual female psychologists couldn't handle the notion that hetersexuals are anything less than the most pure hetersexual men ever.


now ive said all this i can calm down.. Its a very tough period because in same ways the last 20 years of "im gay!" and the opbsessive need for it to feel real has come to an end and i just feel a bit stuck with the blow and go crowd. gay and str8 just work well. I feel like im going to end up dead and contract HIV.

Astonishingly, i would not want my life any other way and am glad i have no friends, never had relationships and im very glad i am not a heterosexual or gay in a traditional sterotypical way (eg i love legs and chest hair) in total because. even more glad im not a woman.. i would never want to become a woman - because everyone (well gay guys and women mostyly) on this planet seem to like masculinity and i damn hate it.


Im going to seek out a gay male pyscologist if i can when im ready who will hopefully understand the horrible danger i am entering that bareback thing with with that real bad drug that you know the devil made for party and play.

 

Re: incredible resentment towards female heterosexual psychologists & heteros in gene

its more of a rant aabout "coming out".. but my sacred label is "men who have sex with men".. i went with that heteroromantic stuff, but yeah heteroromatic has got too much "hetero" in it causes me grief..

you can move/delete this thread if its not in the right place