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coming out AND going butch?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rjyounger, Mar 9, 2014.

  1. rjyounger

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm in the process of coming out and have been getting the urge to cut my hair off and go butch. I was always a tomboy growing up but I started dressing girly out of societal pressure. In recent years, as I've started to accept that I'm gay, I've been wanting to get back to my masculine look. I also feel like it would aid in the coming out process, since a lot of acquaintances would probably start to get that I'm gay just by looking at me.

    I was wondering if there are any other butch girls here who want to share the kinds of reactions they got when they started going butch (if you were femme for some time). Did you find people started treating you really differently, was your family ok with it, and most importantly, is it harder to get work as a butch girl?

    any info would help
     
  2. Csp1993

    Csp1993 Guest

    My younger days were...well...interesting. I dressed kind of butch, but not necessarily on purpose. It's just what made me comfortable. That led to my mother and step-father to believe I was a lesbian. It seemed like every day I was given a speech about how I have such a pretty figure and how I should show it off. Even my grandmother would force me to go shopping for girly clothes. Eventually I gave in and got some semi-girly things and that has shut them up. I refuse to get rid of my graphic tees though! As of now, I also have wanted to cut my hair really short for two reasons. One: long hair is too much to keep up with, and two: I want to be out publicly and that's probably the only way people would start to see it.

    I think that you should go for it though. You're already out to close people, so why not be completely you? I would take it one step at a time, however. Maybe start wearing masculine clothes for a little while and then cut your hair off. Allow people to get used to the change. That way people won't be all over you about a sudden switch. There is nothing more annoying than that. If you wanted, you could even start with cutting your hair. Just wear girly stuff for a little bit longer and gradually change things up.
     
  3. rjyounger

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    sorry to hear they gave you such a hard time! hope you end up getting a sweet haircut
    And thanks for the vote of confidence. :slight_smile: I guess it doesn't really make sense to hang on to something that doesn't make you happy about yourself.