Lesbian girls.. How did your family react to your coming out?

"I know I sound like a coward"

Don't do that to yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to exist free of judgement and negativity. Anyone who tells you that you just have to take all the crap life gives you, no matter how much there is, is just wrong.

As for their reactions...

I used to have this long standing joke that I would tell mum that my younger brother was gay. He isn't as far as I know, but he thought it was pretty funny. Anyway we always used to joke about how she would disown him or something, basically just to see how she would react. I've always basically wanted to know that mum would support people for things like that. Anyway she swore blind that she would still love him and the joke ended for a while until someone said something that would set it off again.

Turns out when I told her, she just went "and" and basically ignored it. Turns out 'acceptance' can be annoying when it's mixed in with equal parts of disbelief and boredom.

My dad on the other hand gave me a hug and thanked me for sharing...

 

I'm so sorry you can't trust your family to be supportive of you.

I'd test the waters first, asking their opinions on gay marriage or something just to see the level of hostility. Some people are just ignorant, some people are just scared, and a minority of people are truly, deeply hateful. You should figure out where they are on that scale first, I think.

I've found that as the science on sexual orientation gets better, it's easier for people to argue "I was born this way" and as that happens, even some very conservative religious people can come to a kind of peace with it by understanding that God made everyone, including LGBT people. And therefore God must love them, and we should love them. That's their thinking. It's still kind of backwards but at least it's not hate!

Maybe you should check on the Friends and Family section of the forum and see how loving parents could come to terms, what their thought processes were. It could help.

I really hope you find the courage to do this and that it isn't a disaster. Rejection from family members is one of the worst feelings in the world and can send you into a spiral of despair pretty quick, so keep posting and stay close to your friends as you work through it.

(&&&)

 

I haven't told them yet.

---------- Post added 10th Mar 2014 at 09:29 AM ----------

They are all homophobic and would disown me so I cant ever tell them. I wish it would be easier but I can only trust my sister to know.

 

I haven't told my family and I don't really need to, my family has that -idgaf what you do w/ yo life personality-
sooo its just kinda unnessary - really it would go like this:

me: mom!
mom: Yes...
me: I have something to tell you, you might wanna sit down.
mom: Make it quick, gotta go watch maury...
me: *tears*
mom: OMG DONT TELL ME YOUR PREGNANT, IF YOUR PREGNANT YOU GO TO YO DAMN DADDY...*BLAH BLAH BLAH
ME: NO! eww, I just wanted to say I like women, I think theyre sexy and stuff...
mom: Are you sure
me:yea
mom: that's it?
me: *sniffle yea
mom: *face palm* Im gonna watch maury... that was just a waste of time....

-----------
me: Dad!
dad: yes.
me: Im bisexual
dad: Cant you just be a lesbian?
me: Daddy no?
dad: Please. Your so close.
me: (o-0) close to wat?
dad: Me being da only important man in your life/ inless you and your lover have a boy then....you know...well anyways how school...
me: eeehhh

*Daddys girl moments*

 

I have only told 3 members of my family they were really supportive I'm sorry you can't trust your family enough to tell them.

 

My family was accepting, but I still got the occasional heterosexist comments that made me regret coming out anyway. I think a lot of people just aren't used to the lesbian community so the more we can teach them, the better it'll make the coming out easier for younger ages. Good luck!

 

I've only come out to my younger sister (she's 18) and she's very supportive. A lot of her close friends are gay and know what they go through.

Good luck!

 

I was already on my own, making my own money, and I was never dependent or close to my mom or dad to begin with. So, I was never really scared of how they would react. The hardest part was coming out to myself and realizing that it's okay to be gay.

What made it easy for me was that I never gave either my mom or dad any power to control my life or question my decisions. I was self-sufficient and I never asked them for anything.

I told my dad over chat, and he is like a teabagger, lol. he basically started asking me questions, on whether I think it is genetic, and he asked why some people are gay, and other questions. I answered him the best I could and that was it. He was careful with his words and didn't spill me any bible non-sense. He knows his place and never bothers me about it.

The way I told my mom, was when I introduced my then girlfriend over facebook, I asked her to add her, lol. My mom knows there is nothing she could do about it, and she doesn't bother me about it either. I think she accepted in resignation.

Anyway, I'm a matter of fact kind of person when asked about my sexuality. I answer curious questions and ignorant comments without being hostile, and I present myself as good reasonable person. I never had a problem with people because of my sexual orientation, and for that, I guess I'm lucky.

 

They haven't

 

Me: "Mom, I'm bisexual."

Mom: "No you're not."

Me: "Mom, seriously. I am."

Mom: "We're not having this discussion."

Later:

Me: "Mom, I'm not really bisexual. I'm actually gay."

Mom: "We're not having this conversation. Lots of people are gay. You're not."

 

well, spokbach, all i can say is you've done your part. just let things be and hopefully she'll come around. there is no need to argue, and there is no need to push. let your actions speak for the kind of human being you are, and that is a good, respectable human being (i hope) regardless of your sexual orientation.

the thing is, once you are on your own, finished your degree, have a good job, own your own house, and happily gay, it doesn't matter she thinks, what matters is that you keep your priorities straight and make a good life for your self, then there is nothing anyone can do to stop you from being who you are. goodluck.

 

Of my family, I've come out to my twin sister, Kate, and to my cousin Casey, who may as well be our triplet.

With Kate, it went something like this:

Me: "So I'm pretty sure I like girls..."

Kate: *sleepily* "Mmkay... what? You do? Why didn't you tell me?"

Me: "I just did"

Kate: "Oh. Okay." *yawns*

She promptly fell asleep and forgot about, but reacted about the same when I mentioned it and came out to her again. That time, she was mostly beating herself up for forgetting the first time.

With Casey, it went something like this, while we and a friend of his were grocery shopping:

Casey's friend: "That jacket looks great on you, by the way."

Me: "Thanks." *continues looking for next item on grocery list*

Casey's friend: "Um, you know when a guy says something like that, it usually means he was checking you out right?"

Me: "Yup." *double checks list* "Sorry dear, but you're not my type - no breasts, for one thing."

Casey's friend: "Ooh. Wait, you're - ?"

Me: "Yup"

Casey: "...." *shrugs* "I didn't know that. Hey, look, chips."

Me: "Put it in the cart"

Casey's Pan, himself, so that wasn't exactly nerve-wracking like it was with Kate. And thus why I ended up coming out in the grocery store rather than in a proper conversation. I think it worked out pretty well, though.

I haven't come out to my Dad, but the topic of his view on LGBT+ people has come up before, mostly during Pride month. He thinks they should be allowed to live their life that way, that they do have a choice, to act on it or not if nothing else, and that it's a sin and while he can love the sinner, they're still going to Hell. So. Not coming out to him any time soon.

 

You made my day! And good luck to you as well.