I've been having trouble at school, and my mom know that something is up. I came out to my father in a similar situation and it has just been drawing us apart. I don't want the same thing to happen with my mom, so I've been trying not to come out to her. The problem is, because she knows that there is a problem that I've been having she's been trying to force it on herself to fix it. Today (and on other days) she follows me around, trying to get me to tell her. When I was asleep (I've gotten 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days, I needed the rest) she poured water on my head to wake me up so I could tell her. I know she would be accepting, but I don't want the same thing to happen with her that happened with my dad. I locked myself in a room alone today for a half hour because I didn't want to talk to her. :help:
As someone who' still hidden, I for one know how my parents may react to me. I believe that what you are doing to your mother may be hurting her more than you think, my mother worried about me. I have not come out yet to offer personal experience, but though I do offer something from what happened to a friend of mine. She got sick, stopped eating in school, it became very troublesome that she ended up in the hospital and when her mother was nearly stressed out about what could be happening to her daughter, she came out in the hospital bed. She nearly starved herself to fight who she was until she realized that being healthy was better. Her mother accepted her and was relieved. Now, I know this may not be what you may be going through exactly, but you are drawing attention to yourself, and it'll get to the point of your mother fearing the worst for you, when it is only something you know is harmless from what is probably is going through her mind. I thought my friend was foolish to draw attention to herself and learnt that I must not either, so whenever I'd get into a fight with my mom or something, I'd blame it on the fact that I felt trapped in the house. Now I am away from that house, my mom hopes I am happy and is a little relieved I am not stressed at home. I now realize that my cousin was smart to draw attention to herself, that coming out sooner was better, I envy her courage to do so. So it appears you have not given your mother a reason to not feel for what you are going through, I am not forcing you to come out to her right away, but I am saying that you are drawing attention to yourself and should just listen to your actions. Your mind is saying, "I will not come out to her yet," but your actions of not giving a proper excuse to get her to top worrying and avoiding her are saying, "Come to me, I want you to know, now." Actions speak louder than words. And whatever is bothering your father that is drawing both of you away is probably his problem, I don't know, I do not know him, but if you think your mother is accepting, then I guess that is all you have to go off of. My way of coming out is actually writing letter that Id hope she'd find. But that is my way of not screwing up my own revealing, lol. Besides, I bet she knows on one level, your father knows, there is a chance she may know from him. She probably just wants you to tell her. ---------- Post added 11th Mar 2014 at 12:23 AM ---------- Of course this is a forum, there are many others you can listen to and get advice from. More experienced and more "qualified" since most are out in the open and I am not yet. Lol.
I think John's observation is very wise. Your mother has probably thought about a lot of catastrophic scenarios already. You may start dropping hints or asking questions to know her opinion about LGBT issues. Good luck
