It's time, I believe. Today I talked to a girl friend of mine who is very very close to the guy I like and suddenly the topic reached a point where she said that she settled a couple of boys to this crush of mine, who's 10000% out of the closet. So far so good. Now, I really intend to develop a relationship and forget that "crush" status, I want to be with this guy, even though we look so different. And why that? Well, I am not out at all and I do not fit any stereotype so nobody has a clue that I'm gay, including this friend. The most important choice of my life is right around the corner and I need support from the community here. Do I tell her I am gay so she could probably help me and my crush get along? I ask that because I don't know if it worths the effort. I am not ready to come out to everyone, I don't want to and I am not going to. I would only be with this guy I like if he's compreensive enough to understand my own time. I am also not physically attractive AT ALL, that being said, it's going to be a hard time for me to make an experienced gay guy like him that goes out every weekend to dance clubs like me back. Thanks in advance guys.
As you probably know, I am generally always big on coming out when you want to, not because you have to. If you decide to come out to your friend, do it for yourself, not just some guy. Having said that, I highly recommend coming out to a friend you know will be supportive. It's nice being able to talk to close friends about things. When I came out, I became closer with all of my true friends.
It's not that I HAVE TO, but I simply don't see any exit from here. If I don't shift things from how they're stuck, I might never get out.
If you want to come out to your friend so she could help you along the way and be your "wingman", then so be it. She might even give you some great tips on how to approach guys and whatnot xD
While I normally am not big on the whole coming out thing, I think that now would be a good time to come out, at least to your friend. Coming out to someone you know will support you is a huge relief. Of course though, it's your life and you have the right to say or do whatever you want. Just make sure that this is something you really want to do, not just an attempt to get out of "that 'crush' status".
Finally I've got some time to answer to my own thread. Let's get started... I agree somehow with you mister Randy, she could be our "wingwoman" but I am worried she could proposely set us on a date, I mean, put her to make us do something just cause she said that since we're both gays that might work. No, I don't wanna go that way. I might be way too resistent on this but what I imagine is that the idea of us going out comes from one of us and to a place where we both will enjoy. In a nutshell, she might just tell us to go on a gay dance club to get drunk and eventually kiss. Now back to Skov... I don't actually want to come out, I am confortable where I am right now and with my current life but who said that's healthy? Next year I'll be graduating on college, I'm gonna be a lawyer and didn't have one single girlfriend. That might start some undesired reactions on my family. I wouldn't really care for them if I had somewhere to go, like a boyfriend. I'd simply stay away from them and let them think whatever they want to, cause I wouldn't say a word about it. It's not that I want to but I need it cause if I do not come out, I'll lose a great part of my life, I won't be able to meet potential partners like this guy I told. I am a shy guy with people I don't know, but since I am friends with people, I am really outgoing and funny cause I know they won't judge me that much about things I say or do. It's kinda complex but that's how it works By that I mean, that girl is a friend that is really really close to my crush and I really hope that getting closer to her might get me closer to my crush and then I'll try to come things around and use whatever desperate social skills I have to make everything go right. That means I need a chance with him and let everything down to my own luck, cause only then I might know if I'm ready to come out definetly and hang around with gay people or not.
If you think you have a good opportunity or have the motivation to come out now, take advantage of it. As you said, if you don't who knows when you'll feel that way again. You don't want to end up all ancient like me and still stuck in the closet.
