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feel like i'll betray my friends if i come out....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Robin j, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. Robin j

    Robin j Guest

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    hey everybody....
    seeking some advise...
    so, i'm Robin, i'm 22, male in closet. The thing is that i like boys i really do.. i knew it since i ws 14 or 15 but i always acted straight. none of my friends ever even in the slightest called me gay or somthin' 'coz i never do any of the homo stuff and all in front of 'em. I'm so precautious bout myself gettin' caught doin' somthin' gayish. I'm such a good actor that nobody in even their dream can think that i'm not straight.
    So the thing is, I've learnt to lie damn perfectly about girls. I know their type i know what to comment for what gal and all. all these years acting straight and commentin' and givin' my false reactions for girls I've developed u can say a reflex kind of thing. as soon as i watch any girl when my friends are around I lie it completely with all my heart and much better that my straight friends (i never like any of the girl till date)
    I've completely moulded myself in that fraud mask of straightness. there is no flaw in it. i'm just like so perfect doin' this act. i lie during gym, watchin' movies, walking, in class, at home, playin, even i comment on the gals that r in video games.. i mean WTF is wrong with me?? y i do all this lying??????? agggahhhhhh......
    the thing which concerns me the most is that, i act so damn perfectly and i don't know how to break this mask of mine. I want to come out of the closet and tell my friends that how much i like boys and that how cute they are but i can't. I've lie about being straight soo much that i fell like if i come out of the closet ppl will feel like they have been betrayed all these years. they will know that i was lying about it all on every damn single moment of life. they will know me and i fear that they will leave me.
    they will know that it was all lie all that eating together, all that swimming, all that doing boyish things, all those nightouts, all that hangouts, all those sleepin' together in same bed under same blanket; that it was nothing bt i a lie with them that they have been betrayed though i never mean anything out of it ever.
    they r my friends and i love them too much and i never want to loose them ever in my life, bt now i'm struck if i continue being straight i will always feel that i betrayed my friends by not telling that i'm into boys and if i come out they will automatically think that i cheated them.
    Recently i came out to my very close friend, he is much of a bro to me and we have kind of bromance between us and i told him that i like boys and i want to kiss them and i was really very nervous and scared.....
    and he replied "r u playin' truth and dare with someone?? i know u a$$h0le.... u r not gay!! hahaha nice prank though during exams bitch!!........" and i ws like soo shocked... i din't utter a single word after it i ws soo socked and nervous and i just went out of the room immediately.
    plz tell me somethin' some way to break it off.... and plz don't suggest that go have sex with someone or anythin'. i want to use my words not stupid actions to prove that i'm into boys.
    plz tell me a way that they will know that i like boys and they don't feel betrayed and i get to keep the friendships as well. and how to stop commentin' bout girls its like my reflex now it just come out of my mouth immediately ..
    please help me (sorry but i posted the same ques in wrong area i guesss)
    thnx....
     
  2. GayCJ

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    It is not betraying them. Just because you were hiding it all these years and aren't necessarily the most stereotypical gay doesn't mean you aren't. If you feel you want to come out, then do it. Heck, if you want to show them your hand and tell them about the digit ratio theory if you have to but if you want to come out then do it. If people don't think you are gay and won't accept your knowing you are, they don't accept the real you.

    ---------- Post added 13th Mar 2014 at 04:49 PM ----------

    I know that it's hard, giving up friends even when it's necessary, but it just needs to be done sometimes. None of my friends has lasted for more than 2 years, sadly.
     
  3. jonnemack

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    You seem to be in the same situation where I am, mister Robin. I act really really good too, but I am not as lucky as you are... By that I mean I never dated a single girl, only kissed a few at parties cause some friends set me with them, and that's all.

    Honestly, the answer for your question is pretty simple. Make little and slow moves to break that mask of yours. I am doing that myself, since I crushed again this year and this time the guy is really gay and I believe I have a (very very small) hope.

    Start dressing the way you feel more confortable with yourself, try meeting new people and be the one you always wanted to be. I say because I bought myself some new clothes and my group of friends dropped college so I was left on my own in my senior year! What a waste, huh? I walk now way more confident, way more gorgeous and way more proud of myself cause I know that am starting not to care anymore with old impressions Iwas forced to make my whole life.

    Oh, I forgot to say. I am like that to new friends and people at college. My family will never know I am gay because I know the reaction will be devastating. But that is a topic for another thread ^^
     
  4. Ravi-VIXX777

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    I heard not giving a crap what anyone thinks helps you to be yourself. If your masculine, your masculine. There is no 100% masculine and 100% feminine for everyone, it varies. And no you won't be betraying your friends, acting that way is bretaying them and even worse, betraying yourself.

    Just be honest with them when they talk about girls. The only way this will end is through the truth. Goodluck and be yourself!!