Sigh. So I gotta do it. It's gonna drive me crazy if I don't. Last night I dreamed that I finally did it, but it was a mess. Like I was freaking out and litterally I was crying just after saying "I need to tell you guys something" (my opening line). And so I want to be more prepared so I don't freak out so much. I want to come out to both of them at once. One of them I know supports gay rights but the other one I am not sure about at all. That's not the issue here tho. I basically.... Okay so the way that I feel about people would indicate that i am pansexual. But I don't think they know what that means and I wouldn't know how to explain it to them. So I'm thinking of just saying bi and if either of them don't understand I'll just say "it means I like both boys and girls" ...and leave it at that for now... Even tho I like so many different genders. The reason that I want to come out so much is becsuse I want to get more involved with the lgbtq community and I don't want to have to hide that from them.(obviously I know they might not support me being an activist for that if they don't support the thing but whatever) Anyway, any advice would be helpful. Thanks
If you have can get your hands on some good books on the subject it might help to give them to read. People tend to be more accepting the more understanding they have. Sexuality is a complex subject, and a lot of people oversimplify it not to hurt people, but because they just don't understand. Oh and try not to take their initial reaction personally. There are a lot of people who struggle with the idea of just being open to love of all types even if they accept the simplified labels that are so troublesome.
^ This They may need some time to understand everything you are feeling, so you don't need to convince them to accept the "news" right in the first time you tell them. Personally, i think you should come out first to the one you think is going to be more supportive. But, of course, it is your choice to come out to both of them at once if you feel it is going to be easier. And don't sugar coat it too much, tell them (or the one you choose) you want to talk and then just say it. Good luck :smilewave
I'm not big on the idea of "coming out". Heterosexual people don't have to do it, so why should we? My feeling is that coming out builds our sexual orientation up into an issue when it really shouldn't be. I now believe the whole process to be wrong and counter-productive, but that's just me. If I were to "come out" now though, I'd keep it very casual and do it with as little fanfare as possible, just like Chiroptera said... no sugar coating and just say it. I wouldn't hang around for twenty questions or a debate either, just say it and go out to the gym, shops, cinema... whatever. Basically, keep it simple and carry on normally. There is no reason to do anything else as you're not saying or doing anything wrong. The less we make of it the better.
Linco, I agree with you in theory... Reality, though, can be somewhat different, no matter what our ages or situations. Many of us have dealt with peer pressure and societal expectations that leave us anxious and fearful. Parents are a particularly difficult issue for many. Wontwalkblindly, you didn't say how old you are or how accepting you feel your parents will be. Both are important. But if you think they'll be accepting, you might try going at it a bit obliquely. You could start with the reason you want to tell them, that you'd like to get involved with the LGBTQ community. They'll most likely ask why, and you can just tell them then. It's more casual, but totally honest. If they don't ask why, but say it's OK with them, you might assume they already have guessed some things about your sexuality, but don't want to pry. You can decide then whether to take the conversation deeper. If it's not OK with them, then you have a decision to make... Good luck, and let us know what you decide, and report back. We're here for you! (*hug*)
I would come out as pan and explain it... I came out as gay to my dad and two of my friends, and only on e knows that it's more complicated than that and he gets confused at the idea of a biromantic homosexual, soo... Anyway, I kinda feel like I want to be able to talk about the a girls I have crushes on to them, but I can't really. Just explain what being pan is, it can't be harder to explain it to them than to explain that you aren't exactly bi just something people group with bisexuality. Sorry if I was bad at explaining.
