The first time I was willing to admit to myself that I am most probably not the typical straight guy was when I was 17.I came out as bisexual at 18.As time went by I started questioning whether I was just using the term bi to avoid the real issue:the fact that I am in fact gay.So I came out briefly as gay for a few months a year later.Certain experiences however led to me attempting to deliberately confuse myself.I suppose I just felt like I could not admit to myself that I will most probably never be able to have a relationship with a girl.There definitely is an emotional attraction though,so I wanted to indulge myself in what if questions.I suppose going both ways I could accept but being gay I could not.I had no problems accepting it in others,but in myself was a different story.So I am 25 years of age now and have finally accepted that I am in fact gay.I literally accepted this fact about two weeks ago.I knew it for years of course.I suppose I am not 100 percent used to the idea yet,but accepting seems to be much easier these days.I do not fit into many of the stereotypes people tend to put gays in which (In my opinion being gay is ultimately a subjective experience),which sometimes complicates matters when it comes to relationships though...
Well, the important thing is that you have come to accept yourself now. Dating and being more open with people will probably come easier to you once you have become completely content and confident with who you are; though that will just come with time.
Hi aspie; Even though i always pretty much knew i was gay i hated it and didnt accept it at all until i was 30. I didnt even tell anyone in the world....not even my gay friend until i was 30.. i am now 34 and i still have trouble some days with the fact i am gay...although on the whole i now feel ok with it most of the time...if you have accepted yourself at the age of 25 that is brilliant and you should be extremely proud of yourself. Some older generations dont accept it until ages of 50+ and some men go get married pretending to be straight and living a lie...you should be very proud of yourself and do not under estimate how far you have come in terms of acceptance...and hopefully if you remain strong you like myself can keep pushing in the direction of being proud of who you are
Thank you for the comments guys.Yes,I suppose it takes time to become more content and confident in the way I am.In the end things will become easier with time.
