.....i don't really know what I'm going to say coz I'm just feeling so weird right now. Im just feeling like a complete mess. I don't know what wrong with me. I don't know what I'm doing anymore with my life. Everyday has become a struggle for me. I cant stand it. Im not suicidal.....I'm over that....i love what my future holds too much. But its my present that is killing me slowly. Yes i am gay.....i know it....you know it....but the fact that my parents are so homophobic is actually driving me insane. Everyday i dream about running away. But then my head kicks in saying that its a stupid idea....where would i go? what would i do? what about school? I know I'm cleverer than to throw what i have right now away but i am at breaking point. I cant sleep....i no longer dream....i've lost my imagination and i feel dead inside. My mum knows something's wrong but how the hell can i tell her. It will push the one person i truly love away from me and reject me. But even today.....i just felt a burning sensation inside me to tell her. I don't know what's wrong with me.....i thought i was over my parents? Im feeling really stupid and god i think I'm gonna explode now.....i just need a break from my life. But how? What can i possibly do in my current situation. I just feel like a piece of crap.
Is there a small chance that if you tell your parents they might overcome their homophobia becuae as their child they love you? Although then again I wouldn't want to risk it. I don't really know what to suggest :/ aww I'm sorry you feel this way , if you wanna talk to someone you can PM me? and I guess it would help you to talk to us guys on EC because you don't know us its like confidential friends xxxxxx
I felt kind a way like you but my family isn't homophobic and my mother already knows(needed months to tell her).I suggest you talk to your best friend.I'm sure he or she won't mind.Try to start a conversation with your parents about it but not revealing anything,just to find out what they think about it.I hope this helps...
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Do you have any other trusted adults to talk to? A teacher or friend that you could come out to first? Having somebody that knows and can be by your side when you tell your parents can really help. They don't have to physically be there but just knowing somebody that you can call for support and encouragement helps alot. You also need to gather educational materials for your parents to read. Print of some of the PFLAG materials that are in a sticky at the top of this Support and Advice section. It will help your parents to understand. In the meantime, know we are here to talk to anytime you are feeling upset or discouraged. These are some of the bravest kids I know. Some of them have already come out to their parents and it didn't go as bad as they thought. (*hug*)
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way but never give up hope. Sometimes, even homophobic parents will accept their son or daughter. It might take a while longer for them to accept it as they have to 'relearn' everything they know about homosexuality and basically change their mindset but with time, most will be accepting. Never underestimate the love that parents have for their sons or daughters. I agree with Becky that it might be helpful indeed if you have a strong support network around you. This will definitely help you in coming out to your parents. What might also help, try talking to a counsellor about it for additional support.
In terms of people I can talk to….there is my close friends. I’ve already come out to them and they totally accept me which was an amazing feeling. I have kind of decided to tell my mum about me because her and I are so close that I feel like i’m lying to her when i’m just around her. I really want to tell her but i’m scared. I’ve asked my friends what they think but they say it’s my decision. Although my friend Joanna said that i’m welcome at her house incase it all goes terrible which was good news. I’m going to print of some of the PFLAG materials and be prepared for my parents’ reactions. But I think I’ll do it one parents at a time….i’m that much of a wuss. But I think I’ll wait for about a week so I can prepare myself and make arrangements in case of……you know. (The one thing i’m worried about is financial support….what will happen to my school/University funds??...sorry i’m really education obsessed)
My mum was also homophobic but when I came out to her, she became more accepting and eventually told me she was ok with it. My dad, however, is VERY homophobic so I'm not coming out to him until I leave university (which I think you should do). Good luck! Btw I live really close to New Malden
I'm sorry about how you are feeling I know what it's like to want to tell the most important people in your life but being so terrified of their reaction that it makes you depressed and you feel so tired of hiding and lying. I felt that way when I wanted to tell my mom. Since you said that your mom and you are close I would start with her I'm sure she loves you enough to try to accept it but it will take some time. After you tell her maybe she will know of a way to tell your dad. In most cases a parents love is stronger then you think. I don't think you have to worry about anything. Tell her when you feel it's the right time and I know you will start to feel better after you do. Good luck! Sam
Well if it makes you feel any better I think you're good looking. :] People telling me I'm attractive almost always makes me feel better. Lol. But I'm a little vain... I think you've noticed. Now about your problem. You said your parents are homo phobes? I think that maybe you should wait about a year if you can that way you'll be closer to independence if it goes sour. How about scholarships?? Or student loans? Do you have any hobbies that make you forget your issues or that numbs you up a little? Reading does that for me. Its great that you have such supportive friends already though. :] Good luck with life! And you can't keep stressing yourself out over this; you're cutting your life shorter and you might end up running your health into the ground. Don't worry be happy. Everything will work out in the end.:]
(Y) It always good to have friends to help out, but your parents might be more understanding that you think, a parents love for their child is strong so you never know I think one parent at a time is a good idea good luck with it you have EC's support *nods* x
