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I'm too afraid, ADVICE PLEASE!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lmsoftball14, Mar 16, 2014.

  1. Lmsoftball14

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    Okay so i am pretty positive that i like girls. However, I'm still questioning whether or not i am into guys as well. Either way i feel like i need to tell one or both of my two best friends but i am afraid that once i tell the one then she will act weird around me and i will lose her as a friend because i know for a fact that she doesn't agree with people being gay or lesbian and such. I understand that if she is my true friend then she will except me but I've been through so much with her and we both tell each other EVERYTHING! My friendship with her is extremely important and i am just too afraid to lose that.
     
  2. setnyx

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    you're in the right place for advice and help to figure things out, there's alot of friendly people here. since you are still questioning maybe wait to talk to your friends.
     
  3. TJ

    TJ
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    Having the support of your friends is immensely helpful in realizing and accepting your sexuality, but in your situation it may not be as helpful because you could jeopardize your friendship.
    One could argue that they wouldn't be your friends if they rejected you for your sexuality, etc. etc. etc., but that won't help solve your situation.

    Like Setnyx said, if you're truly unsure of what a friend thinks of LGBT people, I wouldn't jeopardize your friendship until you're sure that you're lesbian.
    If you tell her that you're questioning your sexuality, there's most likely no going back from that. Even if you later figure out that you're not lesbian/bisexual, she'll still think oddly of you. So I advise you wait until you're sure that you're lesbian/bisexual, and then tell her. If you lose her then, well she was never a true friend.

    Instead of talking to your friends about it, is there a counselor you could talk to in connection with school? or a different friend that you know is accepting of LGBT folks? or even a therapist?
    Talking with someone who is accepting of LGBT people will be much more conducive to figuring out whether you're lesbian or bisexual.
     
  4. Lmsoftball14

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    Yeah i understand what your both saying. However i can't really talk to the counselor at school because i live in a very small town and my counselor is my uncle and I'm not ready for anyone in my family to know yet. I know i am attracted and like girls.. My main problem is whether or not i am into guys as well. And i totally understand just not telling her until i fully know my sexuality, your both right about that now that i think of it. I do have a cousin that just came out. Do you think i should confide in him about this all?
     
  5. TJ

    TJ
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    If your cousin just came out, absolutely. He'd be an amazing resource to talk to.
    And haha, that is a small town if your uncle is the counselor. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. Lmsoftball14

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    How do i go about telling him though? And do you think it would just be best to just finish high school and just ignore the fact that i am not straight and just stay away from relationships with guys?
     
  7. TJ

    TJ
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    Ask him if you can talk about his sexuality, maybe ask when he figured it out, when he felt comfortable coming out of the closet, what his family's reaction was, etc. Those are good segues into talking about your own sexuality questions.

    Also - never ignore who you are.
    If there's a guy that you like and you want to date him, why not?
    Experience is the best way to figure out your sexuality. If he's a great guy, you like him, but you're not sexually attracted to him, that might clue you into your being a lesbian.
     
  8. Hey.First take some time to figure it out.I probably came out way too many times too early and that pretty much later began to irritate people hehe.In any case,whatever your sexual orientation,in the end its not such a big issue in any case.It is simply a part of your personality.If you feel it might jeopardize the friendship and you do not feel 100 percent certain then just carry on like nothing happened.I know there is a tendency to think that one must be out to EVERYONE but in the end things are not as black and white as that.I still am not out to my grandmother,it would be unecessary as well.